It’s common to see changing tables in women’s public bathrooms. Of course, there are many women’s restrooms that don’t have changing tables, but that Koala bear insignia is one that almost every woman in America can recognize. Up until recently, it never even crossed my mind that the same amount of men probably cannot.
A couple of weeks ago, my family went to visit my brother, his wife, and their new baby Cece in Southern California. I learned that there are a lot of logistics that go into doing simple activities with a baby that someone without one would never even think about. While there’s a lot of necessary planning that goes into leaving the house with a two month old, like what time the baby needs to nap or eat, one of those logistics shouldn’t be if the restaurant that you're going to has a changing table in the men’s bathroom.
At every restaurant that we walked into over the course of our week long stay with them, my brother would ask if they had a changing table in the men’s room, but none of them did. In 2014, California legislators passed the Potty Parity for Parents Act on to Governor Edmund G. Brown Jr., but there is no record of him signing it. This leaves fathers who desire to be more active in all aspects of their children’s lives without accommodations.
My brother is not a single father, nor is he married to another man, so his wife can go change their daughter in the women’s bathroom, but that isn't always true for many other families across the country. The problem with this isn’t just about convenience--it’s about equality.
It's nearly impossible for men to become more involved in raising their children if they don’t have the same resources to do so. By only installing changing tables in women’s bathrooms, it is reinforcing the 19th century concept of “separate spheres” for men and women. If changing tables are only accessible to women, then taking care of children and, subsequently, taking care of the home is only considered to be part of the women’s spheres and not men's. Not only are these gender roles ancient, but they are stunting and detrimental to all genders. That’s why this is a feminist issue.
Fathers everywhere are becoming more and more involved in their children’s lives. Unfortunately, situations like this reinforce the idea that taking care of children falls into the women's sphere and that men aren't welcome there. This can make fathers, as well as mothers, feel forced into a position that isn't who they are or who they want to be.
Simply put, this perpetuates gender roles. The idea that women are supposed to cook, clean, and take care of children and that men are supposed to go to work and financially provide for their family shouldn't be the script that every family, or person, has to follow. These socially constructed old-fashioned molds of what a woman and a man should be are restricting and they disregard a human being's right to choose who and what they want to be.
Women, men, and non-binary individuals alike can cook, clean, take care of children, go to work, and bring home a paycheck. So why, as a culture, aren't we letting them do what makes them happy?
In a society that has recently tried to eliminate many of these stiff gender roles from social norms, it is important to speak up about even seemingly small instances of inequality or these less popular fights against injustice will be forgotten.
It's something that I am also working on. I didn't even know that most men's bathrooms didn't have changing tables until a few weeks ago when my brother enlightened me. I can't even imagine all of the other instances of injustice that may seem small, but that send a big message, that I, and much of our generation, haven't even heard of.
Gender equality is a colossal issue. With a multitude of different facets and branches of facets, it's not going to be solved overnight, but the more that people bring light to these issues, the more that people will talk about them. Recognizing that there is an issue is the first step to solving it.
