I love my friends. My real friends. They are incredibly important to me, and they enrich my life daily. Friendships are vital to our happiness and success, providing us with support and encouragement.
Unfortunately, in this day and age of technology it's easier to be friends with everyone - at least in the superficial sense of the word - rather than end toxic relationships. It takes more effort to unfriend someone on Facebook than it does to just tolerate them.
Have you, like me, too often felt the pressure to stay friends with someone even after you have drifted apart? Perhaps there was some event that drove a wedge into your friendship, or maybe your bond just faded over time. Or maybe you were never close at all, but thrown together by circumstance.
It's gotten to the point that I hate getting on Facebook because what should be a fun distraction from life turns into argument after argument, and I end up logging off with a sense of disappointment and stress. I started wondering this week why I surround myself with these people. They don't make me happy, some of them I barely know, and they just leave me stressed rather than contributing anything good to the relationship. You know the type of "friends" I mean?
The friend who is self centered and not invested in you.
The friend who gossips to you about your mutual friends.
The friend who creates bad drama.
The friend who has nothing but criticism for everything you do.
The friend who is never there for you, but expects you to be there for them.
The friend who lies to you.
The friend who you disagree with on literally everything important to you.
The friend who insults you but pretends you misunderstood.
The friend who is unreliable.
These are not people I want in my life. These are not people who deserve to be in your life.
So I'm telling you: it's okay to remove them from your life. It's okay to not stay friends with everyone forever. That's what I've finally realized and how I'm going to live from here on. This year I'm going to take care of me and if that means cleaning out my friends list, then so be it. I've resolved to nurture the relationships that help me grow as a person, not entertain the ones that stunt my emotional health.
That's not to say that you and I can't be friends with people we disagree with. Some of my closest friends hold opposing views to mine, even on issues very important to me. But they at least possess the qualities I value in the people I keep close to me. These true friends are honest, loyal, empathetic, kind, unselfish, and can hold a debate without resorting to insults and hatred. You know the type of friends I mean?
The friend who disagrees with you but respects your right to a differing opinion.
The friend who understands the value of all life, regardless of race, religion, gender etc.
The friend who is unselfish.
The friend who is loyal to a fault.
The friend who is honest.
The friend who comes to you directly with a problem instead of gossiping about you.
The friend who shares the same values as you.
The friend who is there for you during the good times, and the bad times.
The friend who follows through.
These, THESE, are the people we should surround ourselves with. I want role models around me, people I respect, not people I have to be guarded around. True colors will always show through and a true friend passes the test of time.
Here's to the true friends that come into our lives. We are lucky to have them, and I'm determined to spend my time cultivating and appreciating those friendships instead of worrying about the people whose opinions, in the end, don't matter.
