I can remember my first semester of college like it was yesterday. No, it isn't an overwhelming series of memories of crazy nights with my best friends where I laughed so hard that my stomach hurt and I wished the moment would never end.
It was tears. Lots and lots of tears. And also fear. There was a lot of that too.
I didn't understand. Everyone had always told me that college was the best four years of your life, but there I was, sitting in my bed wanting nothing more than to be home with my mom because home was where the stress didn't exist. I had never been more overwhelmed in my life. Between learning how to manage school and my new sorority life and missing home, I felt like the world was closing in around me and that I was going to be trapped in an anxiety-filled lifestyle for four years.
I didn't understand why everyone told me I'd make my best friends through my sorority because when I wanted to grab dinner I had no idea who to call. I felt like everyone was making friends and going out and having fun, but whenever I went out, all I could think about was how much anxiety I was going to have when I went home and no longer had a distraction.
I will never forget the sickening, fearful moment when I got in my car and drove back to college after Christmas break because I didn't know if I could mentally handle another semester like that. But guess what.
It got better.
I made new friendships and learned to not be so hard on myself because, in the end, it's just a test, just a mistake, and it doesn't matter.
Freshmen, it is totally and completely normal to hate the first semester of your freshman year. And I wish somebody had told me that.
I'm not saying life and school and the millions of responsibilities that you have will get easier, but I am saying that you will learn how to handle this new life you're living. Freshman year is hard. You're thrown into a busy, demanding lifestyle, and you're doing it on your own. That's terrifying! But I promise you can do it.
You might feel like you're the only person who isn't loving college. Trust me, you're not. There is a group of people just as scared as you, worrying that they are the only ones who feel that way. You might feel like you're the only person who isn't making their life-long best friends. Trust me, you will find them. I'm a junior, and I am still finding and forming closer friendships that I didn't have in the past two years. You will find the people that love you; it will just take time.
So freshmen, I promise you can do this. You are more capable than you think, and trust me, you can survive your freshman year.