Like any typical high school student, I was always excited to get away from my hometown and go somewhere different for college. Once I started visiting schools my junior year, the idea of getting away was constantly running through my mind. All I wanted by the end of senior year was to be on my own, at a school I loved and worked hard to get into. Counting down the days until move in all summer, I thought everything would be amazing once I got to school.
But then it wasn't... and that's okay.
I hated my first semester of college. Once the shine of the first few weeks faded, I began to feel increasingly uncomfortable with my situation at school. Even though I was doing things I always looked forward to, I felt an increasing sense of loneliness I had never experienced before. I missed my friends from home and felt like I was lacking genuine connections with people at school.
During my first semester, I also joined rowing. I had always had an interest in the sport and saw college as my opportunity to try it out. For the most part, it was an awesome experience. It felt amazing to workout every day and progress as a team throughout the semester. But the demands involved with doing a sport at the collegiate level began to wear on me.
Waking up at 5:30 in the morning and working out twice a day became exhausting. When I wasn't rowing, I was searching for time to do homework and keep up with my assignments. Any free moment I had was spent sleeping, and I was missing out on the opportunity to meet new friends and make genuine connections because of it. I felt like I was chained to a treadmill that was only getting faster, and I wanted off.
During the first semester, I also realized I wanted to change my major. This happens to a lot of freshmen but is still stressful regardless. It felt like the work I was doing would be for nothing since some of my credits would only count as elective classes. I knew I wanted to switch my major, but the idea of doing so was daunting.
Overall, the majority of my first semester at Fordham was spent trying things out and later realizing they were not for me. I wouldn't say I'm glad to have experienced this, but I think it was important.
It made me realize that I have complete control of my life, and if I want to change something, even though it might be hard, I can do it. It made me confront and question myself more than ever before, which I think is a necessary process when it comes to growing older and being on your own.
Often high school students are lead to believe college will be a perfect world where all their problems disappear. Do the hard work in high school, and everything will be amazing. This could not be further from the truth, but many people think this way, including me. There will still be hard times and challenges, but some really great times too. Be prepared for both.
Within the last 3 weeks of the fall semester, I had quit rowing and changed my major for the next semester. I now had so much more time on my hands and was able to get out of my room more. I ended up meeting my best friends at school within that short period of time, and have hung out with them almost every day since.
I joined organizations that better suit me, and have found a major I can see myself pursuing. I have been so much happier this semester, and all it took was a little time, effort, and optimism.
What I learned from hating my first semester is that there's no need to be 'Superman' right off the bat at college. I had spread myself thin and was worrying about too much at once.
When you dive into a new environment, you can't expect that everything will be spectacular right away. Give yourself a break, think about what you really want, and pursue it. Everything will work out in the end.
