College is about to start for many, and I just want to tell you, in a moment of honesty, its okay if your first day of college is awful.
My first day of college was an emotional roller coaster. I remember my excitement, the crisp purple backpack, glossy binders, color-coded notebooks and excess of mechanical pencils.
I was ready.
Within minutes of arriving on campus, I was torn down. I got the worst parking space on campus. I am not even exaggerating. Now as a senior, I truly do not know of a parking space farther away than where I parked on my first day of class.
I arrived to my class about 30 minutes too early, my back sweat-stained in the shape of my backpack. It felt as though everything was determined to stop me.
As I waited for my first class to begin, I must have checked my schedule 20 times, double checking and triple checking that I was in the right location. I would not be late to my first class, my debut to the next four years of my life.
That first class was thrilling. My first moments of college did not let me down - it was exciting, enlightening, and even made me hungry for more - until I saw my first college syllabus. Read over 200 pages a week?! Write a 10 page research paper?!
Classes whizzed by - world literature, music appreciation, quantitative skills and reasoning, history, anthropology.
I went home, took a nap and cried and cried and cried. I had a wonderful first day. Nothing bad actually happened.
But, I also had a first day - a day of new things, a day of unfamiliar, a day of rush, a day of nerves, a day of overwhelming tasks, a day of big picture thoughts.
In all honestly, I nearly quit on my first day of college. It was too much. Where did the pictures of smiling college students studying on green lawns with puppies, laughing friends and pizza run away to?
I wanted to give up on my dreams on the first day. I could finally touch my dreams, my goals, my plans, and touching them was just too much, because I was looking at the big picture.
That first day of college was truly awful, because sometimes new is hard. New can be exciting and thrilling and wonderful, but it is also challenging. Just because the college brochures feature happy students doesn't mean that has to be you on your first day. Have a good attitude, be open to new routines and adventures, but don't be hard on yourself if it takes you a minute to adjust.
Be brave enough to take the time to feel what you're feeling.
College is different for every person. If you had or have a fantastic, perfect first day, I am so happy for you!
But if you didn't or if you don't, know that you are not one bit less capable of success. Everyone processes new experiences differently. Know yourself, and just take college one step at time.
