This is an open letter to the girl that truly believes that at the end of the day, she can't possibly let him go, that she never will, and that her life aside from him is meaningless. This is an open letter to the one in the midst of a toxic friendship — letting it consume her life though nothing good comes from it, completely blinded to the pure fact that bad company truly does corrupt good morals.

It's an image which we know all too well — the hysterical woman whimpering after her boyfriend called her one too many unmentionable names, but yet she takes him back time after time again. Or maybe it's the innocent adolescent whose distinguishable smile got a little duller just about when his grip on substances grew a little tighter, all since he started hanging around what we'd call "the wrong group of people." We resonate with it constantly whether it be with an irritated groan or sigh of sympathy.

So here are a few things that I'd like to leave you with, in whatever situation you find yourself or your neighbor in:

First, I want you to remember that you are not in control of others' actions, but you are in complete control of how you react to them. For example, I've found myself being a constant consultant for a friend dealing with depression. Playing counselor may seem all fine and dandy, but it got to be incredibly exhausting. Every so often, I would be left with suicidal threats, which bred an unimaginable amount of guilt especially because I was the only one to whom they were voiced to. I remember sobbing in my roommate's arms, as I bore the burdens of an individual that I was not fit to carry myself. I was faced with a choice — I could either continue to drag myself down and be consumed by a situation that I was never meant to take on in the first place or I could end it entirely. After one too many sleepless nights of creating horrid scenarios in my head and a few text messages later, I called 9-1-1 and completely cut this person off.

Every day, we are faced with a similar choice. Do we let others' actions constrain us or do we finally let ourselves free of that hold? I can recall some wise words from my supervisor recently, "No one can make you feel a certain way unless you let them, Angela." This enlightened a whole new perspective into my life (although I still have a ways to go). How often do we let others consume us, completely taking over our emotions in the worst of ways? We are allowed to choose ourselves when we are being dragged down in ways that we may never crawl back out of. We are certainly allowed to lay it at His feet, no matter the guilt others leave us in place of the burden. We are in total control and can choose ourselves — please remember that.

Second, know that it's going to be hard — really, really hard. Author Claire Contreras wrote, "Some people would rather stay in a toxic relationship than experience the fear of the unknown." Isn't that so true? We get so accustomed to how things are, that we fear change so deeply. We love routine. Oh, how we love our convenience. We don't want things to get messy, so we remain satisfied with our current disarray, no matter its destruction. But, that doesn't make our ignorance OK. It's difficult, uncomfortable and even scary to end a relationship, no matter what form it may be. Once it occurs, we miss every little thing that never meant too much to us before. We miss the good days so desperately, we romanticize the bad. We give ourselves such a twisted picture because we're so consumed with our guilt. We even start to desire the destruction waiting to happen in the near distance. It makes it so hard to follow through with the separation we so desperately need. But that doesn't mean we have to buy into it.

Third and most importantly, there is so much joy in release. Once we release a situation and ultimately a person to God, He gets to restore our lives and hearts with so much joy, healing and peace. Let's just be sure to not pick it back up again.

Psalm 55:22: "Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved."