Uncertainty is a tricky thing. Sometimes the unknown can be exciting and can be thought of as an adventure. But if you're anything like me, uncertainty is scary. I always thought I knew what I was going to be doing for the rest of my life. Ever since sophomore year of high school, I always knew the answer to the question, "What are you going to be when you graduate college?" My answer was always: campus minister at a high school or college. For those who don't know what a campus minister is, it's a person at a high school or college who helps plan retreats, is a spiritual director to students, plans prayers and anything else that the school's campus ministry program has.
My high school campus minister had such a huge impact on my life that I really wanted to have that impact on other students. That is why I wanted to be a campus minister. But recently, other opportunities have come to my attention, and now I feel like I may not know what my answer is to that question.
During this thinking and discerning process, I am slowly learning the lesson that it's OK not to know if my life will go as planned. I am definitely one to plan out my entire life. Every day, I have a plan of what I'm going to be doing when and I do my best to stick to that plan. But a very important person in my life told me as I was starting to freak out about the uncertainty that it's ok not to know. This really started putting things into perspective for me. But a very important person to me told me that it's OK not to know. I don't need to have my life planned out every moment of every day. My life will never go as I planned and that is perfectly ok.
The only plan I need to make sure I follow every day is God's plan for me. He has a plan for everyone. If we believe and trust in Him, we can be comforted in knowing that God has control of our lives and that we are taken care of. Proverbs 19:21 says, "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." We can plan out our lives all we want, but only God's plan is the one that will prevail.
I will leave you with one final quote to ponder from Ursula L. LeGuin: "The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next." Uncertainty is inevitable in life. But God has a plan and even though we don't know that plan, we can be comforted that we do not have to worry about our lives because it is in God's hands. So, just remember if you don't know what you will be doing with your life, its OK. You will figure it out and God will lead you where He wants you to go.
