Pause. Take a breath and relax. You don’t have to have everything planned out to a T. It is okay not to know what you want to major in. It is okay to switch majors. It is okay not to know what you are doing this summer. It is okay not to know what God is calling you to do for the rest of your life. You have time to figure things out. There is a peace that comes when you give all of your plans over to God. When you are one with God your soul finds rest. You still won’t have the answers but you have faith that God will tell you when you need to know.
I have to remind myself of this quite often because I am a planner when it comes to big things in my life. When I first stopped worrying about what I was going to do for the rest of my life, my peace lasted for a solid three weeks. Then the planner inside me wanted answers and I got restless waiting. I decided I would switch majors so I called my mom to tell her. I would no longer be Psychophysiology (Pre-Med) but I would do something else instead. What I thought would be a quick conversation turned into an hour of me crying on the phone.
This is when God decided to speak to me through my mom. I realized that my fears were the reason why I wanted to change my major, not because God told me to. At the time, I felt like I deserved an answer from God. When my mom told me this I felt like I got slapped in the face. It isn’t my place to tell God when it’s time to give me an answer. I deserve nothing from God. I am a sinner saved through grace because He loves me. Instead, I have freedom in Christ and eternal life. After I discovered this I was able to surrender once again and find peace.
Even though God gave me realizations during my conversation with my mom I still don’t have answers. I may be a Pediatrician on the mission field. I may run an orphanage. I may work at Camp Loucon this summer. I may spend ten weeks as a Global Justice Volunteer. I don’t know a lot of things about where my life is headed but I know some things that are more important:
I am called.
“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.”-Peter 4:10
I am beautiful.
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”-Psalms 139:13-14
I am loved.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”-John 3:16-17
I am at peace.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”-Philippians 4:6-7
What I know in my heart is way more important than the “little” details of my life. God is growing my faith in leaps and bounds during this process of discovery. I trust that He will give me answers when I absolutely need them and not when I think I need them. I hope by reading my story, you will surrender it all to God and find peace in not knowing.
