The best thing I learned about being single is that it does not mean that you’re necessary alone.
Nowadays, people seem to take relationships for granted. I see too many of my friends and peers jumping from relationship to relationship just to fulfill their fear of being alone. People in quick term relationships seem to only just use one another until they find someone better. Too many people are afraid of being alone in life, in fact, I was. My biggest fear was ending up alone at the end of the day, so I hung on to relationships, even if they weren’t healthy.
One day I finally came to terms that even though I was with someone, I was not completely happy. I always put my happiness in the hands of others. I depended on my significant others to make me happy in life. I thought it was impossible to be happy and be single.
For the first time in years, I decided to end my long-term relationship and give being single a try. Of course, it was hard, it was hard to explain myself to my significant other that even though he made me happy, I was not happy with myself. Sounds super cliché, but I had to explain how it wasn’t anything he did wrong, I needed to be single for myself.
For the first time in my 20 years of living, I realized that there is more to life than relationships. When I woke up in the morning with no good morning text or went to bed with no goodnight text, I realized how difficult being single would be, but I needed to do it for myself.
I rekindled old friendships I lost during my time being in a relationship. Being in my first serious relationship, I focused all my time and energy on my significant other. I shut out and stopped talking to many close friends because I was so infatuated with the idea of being with someone and not alone for a change. I loved the attention I got from my significant other.
What made me want to be single was the fact that I didn’t have my own hopes and dreams; instead, we together had our hopes and dreams as a couple. I was terrified of being stuck with someone for the rest of my life without accomplishing my dreams. At the end of my relationship, I didn’t even know who I was anymore. I only knew myself as a pair with my ex.
For the first time in my life, I woke up every morning and did whatever I wanted. I focused on myself, by myself, for myself. I spent time doing things I enjoyed without anyone stopping me. I spent every morning at my local gym and in fact, I was in the best shape I’ve ever been in. I spent my money on things that may seem pointless such as clothes, nails and makeup, but it helped me with my self-confidence. For once in my life, I was able to look in the mirror and be confident and happy. Besides being with family and friends, I spent a lot of time alone. I felt that I had got to know myself better than I ever had before. I started blogging and I was able to help discover myself throughout my writings.
Spending time alone wasn’t about not being with someone; it was about discovering and learning about who I really am when I’m not tied up in a relationship. Being single that it is possible to be happy while being alone. The biggest lesson I learned is that relationships should not determine your happiness. For the first time, I loved myself for being single.