Ugh heartbreaks - the most common similarity amongst all humans. Heartbreaks are the best and worst thing that can happen to someone. Although they do teach you a lot, and prepare you for the next best thing, they suck to go through. Friends can break your heart too, and I personally think that's worse than a potential relationship heartbreak. It's the type of situation that makes you think, "You think you know someone, and then they prove you wrong."

So, just to get us all on the same page, lets bring up some bad memories yes?

Think about it. You meet someone and instantly think, "I want them." So you do everything you can to try to get them to like you, putting so much time and effort into that person. Boy meets girl, boy gets girl to like him, boy leaves girl. (Or vise versa) This is pretty much the vicious circle we all are a part of at some point in our lives. Admittedly it's awful. Both people hurt, or just one person gets hurt. Either way, it's straight up awful. Sometimes, the boy or girl doesn't mean to hurt the other, and sometimes it's intentional.

One of my best friends gave me some pretty great advice about heartbreaks. "Mady, you are just not the one for them. You are not meant to be in their life for the reason you thought. Why are you obsessing over the fact that you two just aren't meant to be together, and that's OK? Don't force anything. If you were supposed to be with them, it would've worked out." Although she is very blunt, she is right.

I think a lot of us get pissed off because we don't get what we want out of relationships. Not just intimate relationships either, but friendships. You put in what you want to receive, but you don't always get what you want back. Afterwards, you feel as if you are the only one putting in effort, and you're the only one who cares. To be honest, if you feel that way, you're probably right. It's not uncommon that one person in a relationship puts more effort in than the other. I'm guilty myself of this, but when you realize you're the only one who genuinely cares, you tend to feel as though something is wrong with you. We ask ourselves, "What did I do wrong?" "What can I do to get them to like me again?" when we should be asking ourselves, "What do they have that I like, that I can look for in future relationships?" "What can I learn from this situation?"

It's OK if we don't work out with everyone we come in contact with. If we were, we wouldn't experience heartbreak. We wouldn't experience the "Wow, I really didn't like that about him/her." or the "Wow, I really loved that about him/her." We wouldn't know what we are worth to others. We wouldn't know what others are worth to ourselves. We wouldn't be able to look back and know the difference between a healthy and toxic relationship. Unfortunately, some people who have gone through heartbreak still don't know the difference between the two.

I think the absolute worst type of heartbreak is the one you least expected. Maybe you and this other person got along great, you had a lot in common, you hung out on most nights, and you had every right to believe they were into you. Then, some black cloud comes over you two and ruins everything. Communication dies down, you hardly ever see them, and it just so happens to have occurred after you did something with them that you don't just do with everyone, whether it was physical or not. I've gone through that many times. That, or having one of your "best friends" disappoint you and turn out to be a complete bone-head.

It's OK if we go through a relationship that was strictly one-sided. It's OK if we go through relationships that one person just wants physical stuff from the other. It's OK if we go through relationships where love was highly present, but went away after time. It's OK if we go through relationships if love is present constantly, and doesn't fade.

When I say "it's OK" I mean it's normal and healthy to experience these types of situations in life. I'm not trying to say you deserve to be hurt. When you overcome the sadness, and "why me" parts, you will be able to look back and think of the positive aspects. You'll be able to think like my dear blunt friend, and say "You know what, I am not meant to be their person and that's okay. I am someone else's person." or "They are not my person, but they are someone else's."

It's going to be hard. So hard. Coming from a girl who has been through it all and back twice, it gets easier. When you are able to be at peace with those who have hurt you, life gets easier. I'm sorry for the heartbreak you have gone through, and probably will go through in the future. I'm sorry for the friends you've lost over stupid stuff. I'm sorry if you're going through heartbreak right now, and don't know how to get out. I promise you this will all make sense one day, and you'll understand why life throws these icky curveballs your way when you least expect it.

Try to remind yourself that it's not you, it's them - and that's OK.