After completing my sophomore year of college, I can say that I know who my true friends are. Learning this comes from experiencing the pain of letting go of the old. Sometimes a friend is just meant to be there for a period of your life. This year, my friends helped me learn it's okay to say goodbye to someone.

There's a time when you realize that a person isn’t who you thought they were. And that's okay. People are allowed to change, but when they become toxic to you, it can be hard to know when to let go. Learning when to say 'no' was a problem for me. I thought that giving someone a third or even fourth chance was what it meant to be a friend till the end.

Luckily, my friends at school saw how hard I was trying to maintain my old friendship. They made me aware of how unhealthy the friendship was for me. They asked me how I was doing and truly cared. They listened to my problems and gave advice.

When this "friend" talked to me, it was only for her benefit. She always wanted someone to listen to her. She was looking for someone to sympathize with her and only her. My friends showed me how in reality, all I was to her was a punching bag. She used me, but would become jealous of my other friendships.

Friends don't say something to you that they know will hurt you. Apologies can only go so far. I'm all about forgiving someone for making mistakes, I forgave this person but that doesn't mean I need to continue my relationship with them. Knowing when something is over is key, this may sound like something a couple would say when breaking up, but friendship breakups are tough, no one wants to talk about it. Everyone has had that friend where things just ended. “It's okay, no big deal.” “You weren't that close, there just wasn't enough time.” So when things end with someone you, at some point, spent every day with, it feels like that time is gone. You have the memories, but they can get tarnished by the actions of someone later. In the end not speaking to someone who's been there for me for five years… It was hard. However, once I really let go, I no longer felt that emotional pain I had been agonizing over for months. The most important thing when breaking up with a friend is leaning on those around you. College is different, I don't know anyone who stayed in touch with every friend from high school. If you have, congrats! Where do you find the time? Everyone is experiencing the same thing. It's okay to let go. Most importantly, it is okay to talk about it with other people.

When you lose a friend, it's natural to wonder what you did wrong. That means you cared about the friendship. True friends work both ways to create a good, healthy communication system. Sometimes it's best to say goodbye. You're not a bad person, you're taking care of yourself.

Sometimes it's not you, it's them.