Between political turmoil, terrorist attacks, and refugee crises — to name a few — it can be difficult to stay updated on current events when it feels like the vast majority of the media is telling you that the world is an absolute mess. It feels like each week, there’s a new hashtag or Facebook profile picture frame related to a different injustice or catastrophe that has shocked the world. Now, I understand that people develop various coping mechanisms to deal with such times, but there’s a specific type of behavior that needs to stop: making it about yourself.
When tragedy strikes, it’s natural to feel scared or anxious. It’s also understandable to experience a heightened sense of gratitude when you realize that you’re lucky to have the things that you do, like a roof over your head, clean water, and overall a reasonably comfortable life. What’s not okay, though, is when you view the event through a purely self-centered lens, which people oftentimes don’t realize they’re doing.
Here’s an example: when I opened up my Instagram and Facebook apps after the terror attack on Nice, France in 2016, my screen was flooded with “thoughts and prayers” and other messages of sympathy and solidarity. A couple of posts and captions, however, made me scroll back up and re-read them to make sure I’d understood them correctly: “I can’t believe I was just there last summer,” and “To think it could’ve been me in that crowd.”
Again, I get where this may stem from. I get that these people are exploring their newfound appreciation for their relative safety compared to that of the victims. But really? I think there are far better ways to approach this situation, and none of them include discussing how you, a person posting about an event that didn’t occur anywhere near you, happened to have been at this popular tourist destination at some point in your lifetime.
This occurrence unfortunately reminded me of a scene from Suzanne Collins’ novel The Hunger Games, when Katniss hears her sheltered, Capitol-born prep team discuss the violence of the Games: “It’s funny, because even though they’re rattling on about the Games, it’s all about where they were or what they were doing… ‘I swear I nearly fainted!’ Everything is about them, not the dying boys and girls in the arena” (The Hunger Games, 353-354). The fact that a teen dystopian novel successfully criticized this behavior in just a few sentences should indicate that avoiding self-absorption in times of tragedy should be common sense, right? Apparently not.
Even if such egocentric thoughts cross your mind while processing such a terrible incident, try to refrain from posting them on the Internet for practically anyone to read. It’s already difficult enough for the friends and families of those affected to cope with whatever the disaster or tragedy may be. For you to twist a horrible situation into a reflection on your vacation from last year is not only selfish, but it’s also insensitive and inconsiderate of those who may truly have been impacted.
If you do feel the need to post about an incident, keep these tips in mind:
- Research what happened. Avoid knee-jerk, primarily emotional responses, especially when you don’t know the full story. You likely weren’t there, so avoid acting as if you were.
- Imagine you’re a victim’s loved one. How would you feel if you read what you’re about to post?
- Check for an excess of “I,” “me,” and “my” in your post. Are you shifting the focus too heavily onto yourself?
Humans’ capacity for empathy is one of our best assets, but in these stressful modern times, it can sometimes take a backseat. Try to approach not only disastrous events, but also your daily interactions with a little more understanding. Thinking about yourself isn’t at all wrong, but it’s also crucial to consider how your words and actions (especially when published publicly) may affect others.
