Regrets are normal. Many people regret spending too much on a car, taking out too large a loan, majoring in something boring in college and other such decisions that come back to haunt later in life. But there's one other regret that is tragically common among people of all ages:
"I wish I hadn't wasted so much time loving that certain person."
We have this idea that, if a relationship or friendship wasn't for forever, then all the love we directed at the "wrong" person was somehow wasted. We wasted our time, we wasted our effort, we wasted our love. But I refuse to believe that.
Loving someone is never a waste. Regardless of how wonderful or terrible a relationship is or was, to love is never a mistake.
You can't choose how someone feels about you or how he or she chooses to treat you, but you can always choose how you respond. Maybe that means you talk about it, maybe that means you leave: either way, it should always mean you love that other person, because, no matter how many times you felt broken because of things he said, he still bears the image of God. No matter how many times she lied to you, she's still your sister in Christ.
Maybe you feel betrayed by someone you loved and now you feel stupid for loving someone who would treat you like that. Try thinking about it this way: he deserves just as much love - both then and now - as the most holy person on earth. At the end of the day, we're all in equal need of forgiveness, and we're all equally loved by God. Let's take our cue from Him.
This doesn't mean you were wrong to leave a bad relationship; you had strength and self-respect to make a tough decision and do what needed to be done. It was a mistake for someone to treat you without respect. It was a mistake for someone to take you for granted. It was never a mistake for you to love, and you should never try to retract even an ounce of love you gave to that boy or girl by regretting the choice you originally made to love.
I'm not asking you to get back together with your ex; I am asking you to realize that love never goes to waste, no matter whom it's bestowed upon. Love is far too precious - too holy - a commodity to not change people. We can only hope that we are able to treat others with a love beautiful and pure enough for them to realize we mean it, even if they don't.
