Admittedly, I did not have the best first semester. Don't get me wrong - I loved the overall experience... but a lot could have been done differently. I didn't involve myself in much on-campus. I threw all my eggs into one basket and said basket ended up doing a complete 180 and dumped all the eggs out in the absolute craziest way imaginable. I lost a lot, or at least what I thought was a lot back then. But I learned very quickly that everything happens for a reason. I expanded a little, and I am truly amazed at the outcome.
I went into this second semester expecting it to suck. I spent day after day at home excited to get back, but also really scared of history repeating itself. I knew there were things I wanted to pursue, but I had no confidence that they'd actually work out for me.
But then they did.
I had been wanting to audition for a theatre company since junior year of high school when I'd first heard about it while touring this campus. After sleepless nights and asking every possible question about it that you could think of, I dove in headfirst. I didn't even expect to see my name on the callback list...
But it was there.
And it was on the cast list the following day.
It's been absolutely insane ever since and in the best possible way. It's only the start of the rehearsal process, and it's already shaping up to be the most incredible experience. I'm finally feeling like my work is paying off for me. I now have the privilege of spending my days in rooms full of people who are genuinely glad I'm around, and it's the best thing ever. I'm so grateful, and I've genuinely never been happier. It hit me really hard, but at the same time, I feel like it hasn't hit me... and it won't.
I've dealt with a lot of BS throughout my life. Pettiness. Favoritism. Hypocrisy. Hell, I've even seen bribery. I've walked into the room after room full of people that already had their minds made up. You name it, I've seen it... but I always knew that I had a greater purpose, and therefore chose to take the high road. And look where it's gotten me; I've found places. I've found PEOPLE. And it's only the beginning.
My mom called me early in the morning on the day the cast list came out because I couldn't sleep. Callbacks had been the night before, and I was nervous beyond belief. She said to me "Phoebe, after all that you've had to deal with, it's finally your turn. Just accept it." And I cried, because she was right.