It has been almost a year since Zayn left One Direction. On March 25, 2015 Zayn departed from the band.
March 25 is what I could easily call one of my darkest days. I was sitting at lunch with friends when one of them asked me if I had “heard the news.” I did not know what he was talking about when he clarified that “Zayn left One Direction.” In disbelief, I googled it, and when I saw that Zayn had actually left One Direction — I lost it.
I kind of cried.
I was in denial.
I foresaw the end.
And although the remaining four band members kept emphasizing that it was not the end: it really was. For anyone who is a One Direction fan, they would know that this past year has been a downward spiral. After Zayn left, the remaining four put out their last album and called it a day. One member, Louis Tomlinson, even went out and had a child.
It was literally the end.
And I cannot really even begin to talk about Zayn. First of all I am still too salty to listen to the song “Pillowtalk.” I understand that there might be a lot of pressures that I would never understand that come from being in the position that he was, but when he put out his parting statement, he wrote: “I just want to go out and be a normal guy.”
No clearly you didn’t. You went out to go solo.
Zayn will probably be the Justin Timberlake of One Direction — but whatever.
Now, I know this whole rant sounds stupid — but actually it’s a big deal. If you know me, you know that I am border-line obsessed with One Direction. My following of them, probably went a little bit too far, but honestly being obsessed with a boy band is a lot better than being addicted to crystal meth.
When I found out who they were as a dorky ninth grader, I thought they were really cool. I heard “What Makes you beautiful” and thought "wow what a chill song" — and I went on itunes to buy it only to find that they weren’t even on itunes. I thought I was very hip and they were some undiscovered indie band … oops
But One Direction started rising to fame, and I started following their rise. I looked forward to watching all the interview youtube videos, waiting to hear their new songs, following twitter accounts and waiting to see new pictures. I would watch their music videos around a thousand times after they came out, I would listen to their album for days. I would wake up early for presales for concert tickets, I would go to many of their concerts. I had even gone as far as trying to find them in New York when they had came.
(And I did one time)
Honestly, One Direction had become a big part of my teenage existence. They were essentially the boys that could never break my heart, they were a constant, they had given me endless happiness.
Which is why, it is so weird now to see their inevitable ending. Boybands, like many other things, are ephemeral. I knew it as a teenager, even they knew it. After I went to college I started losing interest little by little just because I was so focused on adjusting to a new life here. Yet, I would still get excited when a new song would come out or something new would happen. And now those days are over.
Everything comes to an end. But I can’t help but feel at the end of One Direction, like I felt sitting in the movie theater when the last “Harry Potter” movie came out. Sitting in the gray seat, I cried, realizing my childhood was really over. Sitting in Usdan when Zayn announced his departure, I realized my teenage years were essentially through.
Zayn left One Direction, and I guess I wish him the best. While everything comes to an end, it's always hard to accept endings. So RIP One Direction — thanks for all the good times you gave me. You will be missed.
All photos by Rachel Goldstein.
