"Don't worry", they said.
"It will get better," they said.
If I had a dollar for every time I heard those four words, I would be a millionaire and wouldn't even have to worry about anything "getting better". But then again, money can't buy happiness.
The first time I heard this phrase was in my government class, freshman year of high school. On multiple occasions, this girl would come into class and sink into her seat with a big sigh and a weary expression on her face. She often wore this distressed look, and it became such a pattern that one day, my teacher pointed it out and asked her why she always seemed to be in a gloomy mood. I can't remember how she responded, but when she did, my teacher simply said, "You have to trust me that it will get better". And he repeated those last four words more than a couple of times throughout the semester.
"It will get better". Even though I did not fully analyze their meaning at the time, these words stuck with me as a result of my teacher's iteration of the phase. Since then, I've heard it numerous times from different people and in different scenarios. I came upon the exact same words recently while indulging in my guilty pleasure TV show "One Tree Hill". In the episode I was watching, a student who had been a common victim of bullying arrived at school with a handgun and held several students hostage in a classroom. The one armed with the handgun told his hostages how he had been afraid to go to school each day for fear of being bullied or feeling out of place and how it was their turn to feel victimized.
Although this episode aired back in 2006, the underlying themes of gun control and mental health issues may be more pertinent in today's society than they were an entire decade ago. As the terrified students tried to talk him into releasing them safely, one of them plainly said to him, "it will get better".
Upon hearing these words again, I felt mixed emotions of comfort and confusion. Comfort because, at face value, these words mean that no matter how stressful, depressed or nervous you may feel now, these feelings will eventually be replaced by positive ones. But there is also confusion because I wonder why these words are so oft-repeated and whether or not any sufficient truth lies beneath them.
I decided to do some much-needed reflecting.
I am lucky to have encountered few hardships in my life (*knocks on wood*), but that hasn't stopped me from acknowledging the fact that there are millions of people who have met an assortment of tragedies. Who have found themselves without a home to return to at night. Who have had their basic human rights violated. Who have faced the slightest hint of discrimination. Who feel as if they're unloved. And who -- with the horrific President-elect soon to take the most powerful seat in the U.S. and possibly, the world -- fear for their lives and security.
I may not be in a position to tell you this, but please know that, to echo the wise words of my high school teacher and of that student in "One Tree Hill"...
It will get better.
There is no reason for it to be otherwise. It simply takes an enduring sense of hope.
Of course, I can say these words much easier than for you to actually see them materialize into a healthy lifestyle, a secure job, a lasting love, whatever it is you strive for. I can only apply it to the area I know best: academics. I often struggle to see how sacrificing hours of energy and sleep just to receive an A on an exam or project will contribute toward my dream of one day working at a non-profit think tank, performing research and constructing economic models. Sorry, earth science professor, but I am more interested in supply and demand than how planets and stars form.
But hearing the phrase, "it will get better", for the twentieth time woke me up and made me realize that I am missing the point. The big picture is most important. When people reach their saturation points and feel utterly hopeless, as I'm sure many have, the most beneficial fix is to take a step back, view the situation from a wider scope, and understand that what is overwhelming or hurting you right now will pass. It always will.
