After spending nearly three months inside my house with the relative inability to go out in public, I write this article with a heavy heart as I think about the plentitude of people who have been negatively affected by such a destructive virus and, ultimately, whose lives have been changed forever. I sit here thinking about the people who have lost family members, who have suffered from the virus, or who have lost their jobs. I sit here thinking about the healthcare workers who have sacrificed their lives and time with their own families to serve others- a deed in which I cannot offer enough gratitude for. I sit here thinking about the many tears and rolling waves of stress that I know I, and many others, have dealt with. I sit here thinking about how the past three months have felt like a giant grey cloud that has infected my life as well as the world.
With that said, I can personally admit that behind the grey clouds, there have been small pockets of goodness and light that have surfaced amidst such darkness. For the first time in a long time, we have seen humanity come together to support one another, whether by volunteering, donating money/supplies, or even sacrificing their own normalities for the sake of others. We have redefined humanity for the good in the past three months, which to me is a small facet of the light amidst the darkness. So, I also write this article with a faint smile as I reflect upon the goodness that has come out of such desolation. In no way am I trying to lessen the severity and destruction of the virus by focusing upon the good aspects that have surfaced because of all of this; rather, I am attempting to highlight how I, and I hope many others, have changed for the better.
If I had one word to describe my personal quarantine experience, I would choose the word "slow". It was truly one of the slowest times of my life, which is not necessarily a negative thing. It was slow in the sense that I was able to, in the middle of my second semester of freshman year, catch my breath and breathe for the first time in a long time. I was able to examine my old habits and routine and truly mold them in the most beneficial way for myself, realizing what I want out of myself and others. Amidst quarantine, I found time to focus on myself and to start taking care of myself in ways that I necessarily didn't during college- I began running more, eating healthier, and taking time for myself to reflect upon my thoughts and fears. More so, after being away from my family for almost a year, quarantine gave me an opportunity to make up for "lost time" so to speak. It gave me time to cherish my family members all the more, create memories, as well as support each other in such testing times. Though ultimately, I will forever, with a small piece of my heart, cherish my time in quarantine because I, more than ever before, focused on my relationship with Christ. Throughout college, I would listen to the occasional worship song and listen to an occasional sermon, but I was a victim of not investing enough time into my relationship with Him. So, amidst the slowness of my days, I was able to reinvest time with God, growing and nurturing my soul in more ways than I could have ever asked. In doing so, I have gained so much happiness and, in turn, strength to carry myself through such troubled times. In the midst of the slow, I was truly able to grow.
It was the best of times, It was the worst of times; It was small pockets of sunshine, It was grey clouds; It was humanity showing what it truly means to be human, It was experiencing the destruction of a pandemic; It was family, It was fear. The past three months have been anything but easy, and they have changed me and the world forever. Though now, I sit here grateful for how much I have changed for the better, in turn transforming my personal grey clouds into small rays of light that I hope will guide me and others for years to come.
