Well, it was another tough, long and exhausting week. The further into 2017 we get, the weirder the overall picture looks. And you know what, I just cannot this weekend.
As informed and educated as I try to be, I recognize my need to attend to my own microcosm and not feel guilty for taking some time for myself. I wrote last week about our need to fight, to push forward and resist. Part of that fight, though, means taking the time to remember what you're fighting for. And that's where I choose to put my focus, at least for the weekend.
It's also a really good excuse to get some household chores done and to catch up after a really intense week. The kitchen and living room floors need sweeping and mopping. The bedrooms need vacuuming. I think there is, literally, a mountain of linen that needs washing. And I just don't even want to talk about my bathroom.
I also want to take some time this weekend to continue reading my favorite author, George Orwell. "Animal Farm" and "1984" are my two favorite novels and I can remember my initial dread of reading them, back when they were assigned readings.
In all the things I've ever read, all the stories I ever came to understand and love, "1984" seems more relevant now than it did one, five, ten years ago.
And as I take some time this weekend, for all these various items that I fill my weekend with, I allow myself the vulnerability to, just for two days, be an average, everyday person. It sounds kind of crazy, but being aware is exhausting. Ignorance isn't just bliss, it's also lazy and with laziness comes lots of extra free time. Being tuned in to the real ways of the world requires you to fight against every tiny injustice you see, in the hopes that it will create a ripple effect, much like throwing a small pebble into a calm body of water.
I am still one of those pebbles and I am still cognizant of what's really going on in the world. This weekend, I won't watch the news or bother with social media; I don't want to tweet or scroll through the quizzes on Buzzfeed. I just want to clean my apartment, spend some quality time with my cat and appreciate what it is I have to fight for.
So, don't be hard on yourself if you just need a day or two for yourself, just a quick hide away from the world. I'll be honest, the picture I wake up to every day is NOT exactly what I pictured. I was setup to believe the world would be advanced and savvy and encouraging. But the picture, as of late, is anything but those three things.
Tonight, it's take-out Mexican and "Futurama." Tomorrow, a leisurely, yet structured day of cleaning. And Sunday, a (hopefully) snowy day, reading a great novel with a cup of hot chocolate.
