If there's one thing I've realized in my 20 years (and 8 months), it's that I am my own worst critic. There will not be anybody that will be as disappointed, hurt, or upset with me as I can be with myself. When you make a mistake when you're young, it may seem like the end of your world, but here's some reason why it's actually not...
You're young. That's putting it short and simple (and maybe a little obvious), but it's true. You're young. For starters, this isn't even the only mistake you're going to make, and that's okay. You have time to fix it, and you can learn from it in the process. The reason why it seems like the end of the world is because you've never messed something up quite this badly before, it's new, un-touched territory and it's scary, but it's going to be okay.
Despite what you're told, you don't actually have to have anything figured out in your twenties. I can't stress this enough (especially to myself.) I'm just starting out in life. I may be living on my own and paying my own rent and bills, but who says just because I'm an actual adult now, that I have to have it all figured out? Give yourself room to grow, room to flourish, room to make those mistakes.
When someone tells you they're disappointed in your actions, it doesn't mean that they love you any less. I'm not sure if there is anything I dread more than hearing the words "I'm disappointed in you." I think the reason they hurt so bad is because I know, I'm disappointed in me too. Lucky for you, and lucky for me, just because a loved one says those dreaded words, it doesn't mean they love you any less. On the contrary, it means they love you immensely and care about you just the same, and they know you can do better. It should be encouraging, really.
It may seem catastrophic now... but is this really going to be bringing you down thirty years from now? Of course not. Thirty years from now you're most likely going to be telling your children (who have just messed up pretty badly themselves) that one time you screwed up so bad when you were twenty, and just like them, you thought you'd never get through it but you were wrong about that and everything ended up being okay just like it will be okay for them.
New beginnings are happening all around you.The beauty in this life is that you don't actually have to wait until January 1st to make changes in your life. You can use any new day, week, or month to make a fresh start because when it all comes down to it, it's entirely up to you how you want to live. If you're unhappy with something you did, that's okay. Start over in the morning, tomorrow can be a better day.
Everyone is pretty worried about themselves. My biggest thing is that I was so concerned about my friends and peers finding out about the mistake I made. I was terrified of what everyone was going to think of me when they found out, when in complete reality, everyone around me has their own things going on and they're actually not too concerned about the things going on with me, unless I need them to be.
It's not easy telling yourself that everything is going to be okay, just like it's not easy believing those words when someone else tells them to you. But it's true. Everything is going to be okay, and just because it may seem like the end of the [your] world now, it's actually not. Take a deep breath, pour yourself a cup of coffee, open up your favorite book or turn on your favorite show on Netflix, and just try again tomorrow.
In the worlds of the great scholar [Dr. Suess]....
"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself, any direction you choose."
