It is true. No human is complete without blemish. Considerably my most fatal flaw is my tireless need to drive myself bonkers with over-analysis. Every once in a while, I become consumed by the idea that even the closest of my friends secretly hate me and the horrible reality that I could never be loved or married, among other things. But it is in these moments that I pinpoint the enemy: myself. Or, my mind, for that matter. And the sad truth is, it is not me alone who is guilty of doing this. In fact, I am sure you are just as guilty as I am.

Genuinely, it is none of my business what other people think of me. If I make this my business— if I MAJOR in ‘caring about what they think of me,’— I will wither away until I am nothing but a sack of meaningless, passionless bones. If we spent a considerable amount of time dwelling on every negative comment, horrible bully, and lie we hear about ourselves each time they come about, we would be selling our souls over to the ugliness. We are not the reflection of those corrupt people who cannot see us and appreciate us for who we truly are. We are a picture of vibrant color and loveliness, and no one has the right to convince us otherwise. We cannot let the behavior of others rob us of our own inner peace.

Small minded people make it their mission to belittle the ambitions of the seemingly unbreakable. However, their petty stones can’t penetrate the walls of a stone castle— remember that. The stones will only hurt you if you open a window and let them in. Refuse to open that window. Of course, it is easier said than done. I am the first to admit I allow people into my life almost effortlessly, a flaw I know. I cannot help but be optimistic about each person who shows the slightest interest in me, whether for friendship or something more. It is truly easy for someone to be closed off to the world, or feel no remorse when cutting people off. It takes a strong human being to allow someone new into our lives and give them a chance. People will burn you, it is inevitable. Do not let that discourage you or use that as an excuse to give up on people. It may have been a lesson, a blessing, maybe neither and it was just poor timing and you were caught in the middle. Either way, picking yourself back up after you have fallen is the best thing you can do when someone is watching to see if you fail.

I recently wrote a piece for my creative writing class, a short journal entry of about 700 words. I based it off peoples’ intentions, and one person’s in particular. After being thrown on the back burner, I had pursed my lips, lowered my head and convinced myself that I’d done something wrong again. “God, what is wrong with me?” Eventually, it would consume my thoughts and I was even annoyed with myself. After much deliberation, reading of zodiac signs, and confusion I basically boiled it down to timing. I had analyzed everything per usual and I had done nothing wrong. I was convinced that I had committed some terrible crime when all I did was allow someone into my life when the timing was just not right. If I sat around and wondered and questioned every move I had made, I would have driven myself insane. All in all, intentions are not always clear, and sometimes your perception of a person may be a tad off. Although some days I wish I knew what that person truly thought of me as an individual, it is none of my business to know that anymore. Life is tricky like that.

Socrates once said, “Be as you wish to seem.” By the same token, feel as you wish to feel. Not every situation demands a reaction and this is something that is hard to live by. Sometimes it is best to look those who wronged you in the face (figuratively), smile politely and think “I am sincerely sorry for YOU. I will not award you with the luxury of seeing me cry.”