Every now and then, I see these little pictures with a quote on my news feed or an Instagram account, reminding you to stay soft in a world marred by the inconsiderate and hurtful actions of others. But why be nice to people who cause more commotion in your life than they lend a hand? The more I deal with people, the more difficult being kind becomes in every setting, not just dating. The fact of the matter is simple: people just suck. There are so many out there who give little to no thought about how they treat people.
When a friend or someone close to you breaks a promise, talks bad about you behind your back, isn’t there for you, or takes their frustration out on you, it makes you rethink how nice you want to be to them. When someone you have feelings for doesn’t call or flakes out on you, you try to harden your heart. When you encounter a stranger on the street who stares you down, you stare right back with a stone face. All these things and more only make those of us who aim to be nice to everyone we encounter want to harden our hearts to save us from the heartache.
I’ve had my fair share of moments where I’ve thrown my hands up in despair, saying I’m done with people. I’m sure I’m not the only one. The number of people who seem to lack any kind of respect for others’ time, feelings, and opinions is mind boggling to me. It’s not that hard to be a decent person and treat others how you’d want to be treated. The way things are going these days, my findings seem to reveal most people would rather be treated like dirt than have a good friend. If that’s not the case, we need to change our actions; they speak a lot louder than words.
I’m a firm believer in “You get out of the world what you put into it;” bring bad juju in, you get bad juju in return, and vice versa. Let that sink in for a second.
If I had a dollar for every time I was told I’m too nice, I wouldn’t have to worry about paying my tuition. Therein lies a lot of my frustration with people now days. It takes nothing to be kind to someone, you won’t melt like the Wicked Witch of the West. You actually may get a bit of a buzz and find it rewarding. Sure, it sucks to try to be nice to people that hurt your feelings or don’t seem to want to be kind. But you get the satisfaction of knowing that you did the right thing in your eyes and you know that you were the bigger person. That’s all that matters.
Why be nice though? Why not just pretend not to care and have that tougher than leather attitude? It seems easier, right? Fact: it’s actually a lot harder when you’re just plain nice on the inside. I’ve tried adopting that attitude and I just can’t do it. The negative energy I had inside me affected my personality on a level that is kind of freaky. The whole thing about coyly figuring out who cares more by ignoring the other and trying to feel like the “tougher” person is a load of bull. Be up front with people, tell them how you feel, be a good friend, be polite to people you meet in passing, don’t waste your time playing games with people.
The way I see it, being hard and stone-cold is a front, a bad one at that. You’re more than likely shoving how you really feel down so you won’t feel so weak and somewhat stupid. Denying to yourself that you really care about someone or something is a big mistake. There may come a day where you’ll wish you’d said something about how you felt instead of sit wondering why it didn’t work or why your friend is being unfriendly. It’s easy to brush someone off and say you don’t care when they blow you off or don’t answer a text. But, deep down, you know you care. It sucks to feel let down and hurt but it’s a part of life; there will be days you hurt and there will be days where you feel on top of the world. Accept it.
One other issue I have with the stone front is that you block yourself from some of the best people, experiences, and things this world has to offer. When you shut yourself off and make people feel like they can’t approach you, you’ll miss out on meeting some cool people and who knows where that could lead you. It’s not wrong to harden your heart to people who have hurt you and made you feel worthless. Chances are those people would do the same thing in a heart beat. But it may be alright to show them a little kindness on occasion, just be careful with how much kindness you show them.
Bouncing off that idea, you close your mind to how awesome the world can really be when you’re cold and hard-hearted. I write about this a lot in my articles, but the world really is a beautiful place, including the good and the bad things. Open your mind and your heart to the world and it will open itself to you. Not everyone you meet is going to be a jerk that you feel you have to not care about so you can forget them. There are plenty of those kinds of people in the world, but there are also some pretty great ones out there. I’ve met my share of them and you will, too, just be kind.
