We all go through changes in life. We graduate, make new friends, get a new job or move to a new place. Yet, there is one constant in the midst of change and that is home. I went to the other side of the country for college because I wanted to experience something away from home. I wanted to gain my own experiences and find out who I was without the shadow of what I’ve always known in the picture.
At first, it was hard leaving home. I missed dropping by my best friend’s house anytime I was bored. I missed simply hanging out watching TV with my mom. I missed having my boyfriend two miles away instead of 2,000. That first couple of weeks sucked, to say the least. I was beyond home-sick; my security was gone and I thought maybe I had made the dumbest decision of my life.
Home is a funny thing to describe. Sometimes we associate it with the physical house we live in and sometimes it's the family, friends, and places that have made up who we are. For most of us, it’s where we feel secure and comfortable. Little did I know that I would call another place home beside the place I grew up.
Here are some signs that you too may have another home.
1. You Spend More Time Away
When I first moved away, I went home every chance I got. But as time went on, trips home became less and less frequent. I spent my first holiday away from my family my Junior year of college and after that, I kind of felt like a free woman. Not that I don't love my family. It was definitely sad to be away from home on a holiday, but it was an eye-opening experience to realize not every important day would be spent with my family anymore. I was still surrounded by people I loved and that is what made me feel at home. I started spending spring breaks with my friends, leaving early to celebrate New Years instead of sitting on the couch watching the ball drop on TV with my family... more and more time was spent away.
2. You Feel Like You’re Cheating
There were so many times that I was home with my family and proclaimed I was going back “home” (referring to school) to which my mom’s eyes looked kind of terrified. Or when I would tell someone I was on my way back home (to the dorms) which was always kind of weird because the dorms aren’t really a 'home’ but you live there 8 months out of the year so what else would you call it? I always felt this strange guilt that I was cheating on one place with the other.
3. You’re In Denial
After graduation, I had the choice to move back home with my family or get my own place with my best friend. We both flipped back and forth a million times… one of us would decide to stay, while the other decided to move back home and vise versa. Finally at the last minute and tired of being in the valley of decision, we both chose to stay and make a new home together. We had to set aside the denial that we are growing up and won’t have a room at our parents’ house forever.
4. It Just Feels Different
After awhile, home becomes less homely. Most of your high school friends have gone. Your room gets used as storage now. Your mom takes away the WiFi and cable because you’re the only one who used it. Mom barely cooks because there aren't kids at home to cook dinner for anymore. Home becomes a visit instead of a stay.
While home will always be that familiar town that you grew up in, populated with the familiar faces you know and love, you'll begin to discover other special places you begin to call home. You might feel guilty about it, but you'll discover the hidden treasures of a new city, become familiar with unknown faces and yet even in the new, there are still the little things that remind you of the old. Home becomes where the heart is.
