In Our Modern Day World, Romance Is Dead.

In Our Modern Day World, Romance Is Dead.

Are our relationships about compatibility or convenience?
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I've always been obsessed with reading. When I was little, I would read book after book, taking in one fantasy world after another. Not much changed as I grew older. I continued to read everything I could get my hands on, and I loved every minute of every story.

One of the many cliches that stuck with me through almost every single story had to do with romantic endings. The protagonist wins the love of their life, a perfect kiss comes after a perfect date, the "big" fight is resolved in their singsong relationship, and they live happily ever after. Maybe I was naive and young to fill my head with fantasies of my own Knight in Shining Armor.

I was never the girl who dated in middle school or junior high. I had too much to do, I was surrounded by my friends, and I had my books—I didn't need anyone else. In high school, though, it started to bother me. Why wasn't I getting asked out like everyone else? Why was I the only person in my friend group who hadn't been kissed, who went to the dances alone, who pretended like it was totally fine? I found myself wondering why I wasn't smart or pretty enough, wondering if I was too fat or too outspoken and opinionated for anyone to ever come and sweep me off my feet.

I'm still learning that none of that is true, and I work to convince myself of it every day. I still do not understand why it all happened like that, why I never had a relationship in high school, why I never had those "high school moments" that were supposed to shape me and prepare me for the big, wide world that is college.

When I got to college, nothing changed. I was still the one who was alone in my friend group. When we went to social events, they all got hit on while I stood in the back against the wall trying not to bring the group down. I didn't get it. I still don't, if I am being entirely honest.

I look around at my world and see all the dating apps, all the social media statuses, every single way of having a "relationship," but in every single instance...the intimacy and honesty of dating seem to be missing.

Why?

Is romance really dead or am I still stuck in my books? I know now that I don't need a knight to rescue me—I am perfectly capable of saving myself, thank you very much—and I certainly do not have to be in a relationship in order to define my worth or my identity. Even through this recently acquired self-assurance and confidence, I still question the world and what a relationship really means anymore.

Is it about the likes on your new profile picture together? If they Snapchat you every single day? Is a relationship about compatibility or convenience? Does it have to be all about the sex? If that's what you want, then power to you! But why does that have to be the new default box to check when we enter a room full of strangers, of potential partners?

It is not that I really think romance is dead—not entirely, at least. I see it in my parents and in the little things that they do for each other. From my friends in healthy relationships who talk about the late night talks and the sweet nothings that mean absolutely everything. Romance is still out there; it's just really hard to find.

I go through my life, living how I want to live. I will never allow someone else to determine who I am to love or how and when I am to do it. I will stay here waiting for the one to come along who sees the world as I do. We don't all need expensive dinners or fancy clothes or for our latest Instagram photo together to reach 300 likes. Just sit on the roof and watch as the stars go by. Watch a movie together and watch the movie. Nothing more. Laugh at your mistakes and do silly things at 2 AM in Walmart just because you're young and wild and reckless.

Romance has changed as we have changed, and maybe it has many more definitions than it once did. It might be for the better or for the worse, depending on who you ask. Either way, let it live on and do not settle for less. Get what you want, and do not let anyone keep you from reaching it. Find your happily ever after on your own terms. You can slay your own dragons, and you can find someone who will gladly stand behind you while you do. You deserve happiness. Don't let our world take that away.

Cover Image Credit: pexels

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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It's Time For Romance Movies To Start Portraying Love And Relationships More Accurately

It's 2019, get with the times.

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Currently, on TV and in the movies, many romance movies have the same storyline. If it's on Hallmark, two people fall in love and complete some kind of mission. If it's in the movies two people date/fall in love, something causes them to break up, then they get back together and everyone lives happily ever after.

The problem is that all of these plots are seriously unrealistic.

All of these movies and TV shows just inaccurately portray how a relationship works in real life. A real relationship takes a lot of work, time, and effort. Not everything is candy canes, unicorns, and comes so easily. There are so many other factors that people have to think about.

I really got into watching these romantic type movies when I started watching PG-13 movies. I would watch them and picture all my relationships going this way. But these movies painted the wrong picture of relationships. I'm not saying my boyfriend is a bad boyfriend at all, he is wonderful! But we both have learned it takes a lot of work, time, effort, and communication. These are things very few romance movies teach us.

Also, everyone expects things from their significant others from what they see in these movies. I was one of those people, but then real life hit. There are bills, jobs, and time management that you have to consider. This doesn't mean that my boyfriend and I don't go out, but we have to choose wisely for what we do and when we do it! We have also found fun things to do at home in place of going out in order to save money.

I understand that many people like to watch these programs and enjoy them. But there needs to be a change to accurately portray a relationship. Personally, I think this is why many young people's relationships don't last - they have watched this easy relationship develop and stay in a movie and they haven't seen what it is like in real life.

So, to those who produce these types of movies and shows, it's time that you start making things more realistic.

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