It’s approximately 5pm. He pulls up to her house in his dad’s car, confidently donning a complete tuxedo and clutching a nice corsage in his hand. She emerges from the house in an elegant dress, the parents snap a few pictures of the cute couple, and the two of them are off. They will enjoy a nice dinner out at a fancy restaurant; after that, they will head out to the prom where they will dance the night away with friends by their sides (with perhaps a slow dance tossed in here and there).

This is the kind of experience that most Americans think of when they are asked to consider the “typical” prom experience. But exactly how accurate is it? In reality, not very accurate. In a surprising YouGov poll of about one thousand people, 53 percent of participants said they did not attend their high school prom at all, and of those that did attend only 51 percent took a date. All in all, this means that only 24 percent of American teens had a prom experience similar to the one outlined above. What’s even more striking to me is that overall 59 percent of people polled thought that the prom experience was overrated, and among the teens that did attend their prom a whopping 48 percent still thought it was overrated.

I believe that these data have the potential to change the way this country thinks about a rite of passage for teenagers. In the past, the most common questions that high schoolers considered when they thought about prom were typically: who should I ask? What colors should we wear? Should I go with a date, a friend, or should I go alone? Should I ask her, or should I wait for her to ask me? But this study begs a new question for them: should I go at all? Without a doubt, it’s a loaded question, one that I too have grappled with. It may or may not be worth noting here that I personally went to my junior prom with a friend and subsequently decided not to go to my senior prom because I too thought the experience was overvalued. Although my views on the quintessential American dance are certainly biased toward the negative, I will try to answer that gripping question all the same.

Prom is an experience unlike any other: it’s loud, crude, hectic, spirited, tireless, and for many one of only a few opportunities they will have to escape the watchful eye of parents or guardians. It strongly appeals to some people and less so to others. That being said, if you love big crowds and big energy, if you relish hanging out with friends or a date for hours on end, if you have a specific friend that you would like to take and get to know better, or if you simply have a nagging feeling in your gut that you will regret missing your prom later in life, then by all means go and do not let anyone else’s criticisms stop you.

But for those who cannot find a date but do not want to go alone, for the couples that feel they would have a better time ordering a pizza and binge watching Game of Thrones, for the introverts who fear they might become certifiably insane in the crowd of people, and for those who simply can't afford it, take it from someone who actually went: going to your high school prom will not make or break the four years you spend there. Your high school experience, like everything else in life, is what you make of it. Some people join extracurricular organizations; others do not. Some people take as many AP science classes as they possibly can; others feel happier picking up an instrument or trying a new art class. Each individual person is welcome to do what he/she/they would like with their high school experience, and choosing to go to one dance as an upperclassman will not make the difference between loving high school and loathing it. Whether you think prom is overvalued or not, no one should let a solitary night be a defining factor for a formative four-year timespan.