So maybe you just heard someone tell you this OR you’re the one telling a friend:
‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
- Alfred Lord Tennyson
But have you really thought about this quote? My response to this quote for a while was simply. I would rather not love at all so I have nothing to lose. Yeah, it's true. But I've learned that that's not how you should perceive love. And for the first time, I think I have finally understood this quote. It's true. You will do some crazy things for love. Love exists in many forms. Remember that "You are loved whether you know it or not." You really do become a different person when you're in love and you’re doing everything and anything that makes you happy. Sometimes when you are sad people are so busy trying to make you feel better and make you laugh, that during hard times you forget that it’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to be sad, in fact, embrace it. You don’t have to be happy 100% of the time (despite what you are said and what you feel). You will be happy again in your OWN time. And even though sometimes happiness often times comes to a painful end, it won't always end like that. You realize that if you have too much of a good thing it tends to lose its value. You tend to not appreciate it as much as you should. Sometimes you know when someone is bad for you yet you still fall for that person no matter how toxic that person can become. It does not make you a bad person, but the question is why do we still fall? Well, I think that it is because you have some hope that it will still work. And you would rather give it a chance than live with the “What Ifs”. Or in other words, “You fall because they at least made you feel something. And feeling something is better than not feeling anything at all.” And even if in the end you end up hurt or feeling like a fool, know that:
“Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn”
-John C. Maxwell
Take everything that happens to you, even the most painful circumstances and mistakes as lessons you can learn from. Because your life does not have to make sense. And no one but you has to understand it. And guess what. You're in control. Every action has a consequence. Good or bad. And you're the one that decides what happens. In love, you get to decide how much of an impact a person will have on you. You get to decide who hurts you or who doesn't. You're young. You're wild. In the end, it would just be a part of the crazy adventure you call life. Hey, whether you love and lose OR if you love and it works out, either scenario has an interesting story behind it. It could even be a story you might be telling your children or grandchildren because they need advice from you. You’re just like any other person. Everyone goes through it once. Remember:
You don’t pass or fail at being a person, dear.
-Neil Gaiman, The Ocean at the End of the Lane
And if it doesn't make you happy then don't do it. Stop trying to please everyone. It's your life. Live it to the fullest. Do the things you love. Do whatever you want to. And if in the end, it brings you pain well at least now you learn from it and grow. Don't let anyone hinder your growth, NOT even yourself. You're allowed to grow and change. In the end, you're the one that has to live through it. And your feelings are valid. You're worth that experience. Worth that growth. Worth improving yourself. It's worth doing every that can help you improve yourself. You're worth so much more that you will ever know and it's not fair that you're diminishing your own growth.
You should never give up on love just because you’ve had terrible memorable things that have happened to you . It’s like having a taste of a bad bite of food but never wanting to eat food again.
-Kristen R
So if in the end it hurts, and you loved more, it is still better to love and lose than knowing that you’re the one that did not love and could have loved more. It is better to feel like you loved all you could so you tried to make it work than to feel like you should have loved more. You should have given yourself more. You were to give that person so much more than you expected or would even consider. Your time. Your emotions. Maybe even more—but those are notions you would not dare admit without foresight. You know you would have gone to the ends of the earth for them if the connection was there and if the opportunity allowed itself. You would have given the, more than you should, more than you had to offer. So in the end who’s at a loss? The one who offered? OR the one who rejected?
You tell me....
