Some stream of consciousness on a late night, when my iPod was reading my mind again.
So what is my scene?
Music.
Photo: Tub Ring by Rosie Wholihan
Give me any type of music, and I can tell you at least a few songs or a few artists that I’m interested in enough to listen to the melodies that they create. Music, music, music, music! There has never been anything better that could ever express my feelings to the world. Now mind you, I’ve been writing poetry and short stories and prose and things like that ALL MY LIFE, but still, there were certain moods and experiences that I’ve had that only music could ever make tangible.
And yeah, I’m talking about lyrics here too, but for an entire autumn all I listened to was the soft ambiance of Sigor Ros (the album “( )”, which had vocal movements on it, but not any that I could understand as words). Every instrument was somehow understanding the pain that I felt at not being able to be with the one that I loved, my rejection when he chose someone more beautiful than I was, my elation every time that I was in his arms, my pride when something I had worked on for months would come to fruition in the form of a play or a concert that I put together and go well, my excitement found in the brown eyes of a boy that I had known too long but didn’t remember existed until he appeared in my life at the moment in time, the look on my newborn cousin’s face the first time I met him, how warm I could feel just sitting in a car with my best friend driving around and talking for hours, the smile on my mom’s face when she would sing me the song that she wrote for me, the intensity in my dad’s eyes any time I would ask him for Bible explanations, how the stars sometimes seemed to twinkle along with the mood of my night and the tightness of the grip of the person sharing that night with me, or the pure joy of pulling my boyfriend out from under the covering of a store front and making him dance and get soaked in the pouring rain with me....
Music just “gets” everything. I don't have to explain myself to music, it never asks me to, because it can just feel my roller coaster ride and give me a new song or full album that just goes with my life at that time -- and every note played or every word sung just fits, and I can relate to it, and I know that someone else out there, whoever made the music that I was listening to actually had felt, or was feeling, just as I was -- and even if I could never touch them, or see them, or talk to them, I knew that I wasn’t alone in that feeling.
Not that I wanted other people to share in my suffering but everyone knows that there’s just something a little more comforting knowing that you’re not alone.
I have always been in love with music. Music was my concubine in any relationship that I ever had and ever will have in my life. Maybe I should rephrase: I feel like I should say that any relationship I ever have in life will be my “mistress” because Music will always be my one true love.
