These days it seems hard to find encouragement in being alone, from "relationship goals" to "family goals" to #IfWeDate. Why are we always trying to Netflix and chill? Why are we afraid of being alone or even the thought of it? Why are we so scared of ourselves that we feel the need to fill lonely moments with meaningless hook ups or dead-end relationships? Why do we choose to waste our time? Is it because we are lonely?
I used to be the girl that felt it was necessary to always have a boyfriend. I always needed someone to give all of my energy and all of myself to. I was the girl that was so afraid of herself that I had to find someone to distract me from my problems. Being alone was my biggest fear.
It wasn't until my senior year of high school, until I was faced with being alone and starting over, that I found myself. I learned that I actually had talent that I never had time to noticed before. I had hobbies. I made new hobbies. I thought about what I really wanted my future to look like. I found my own beliefs. I thought more about the world. I unraveled the idea that I needed someone to make me feel whole. I loved people freely. I learned deep, personal things about myself. I found myself spiritually. I found peace. I finally met myself. I learned that loving myself first was so important.
Your young adult years are your selfish years. Don't waste them.
Be selfish in your dreams.
Love yourself.
Learn your own passion.
Be free.
These are the most important and influential years of your life.
One of my favorite poets, Rupi Kaur, wrote, "You must want to spend the rest of your life with yourself first." That one line poem speaks volumes to me. Don't center your life decisions around one person. Achieve happiness by yourself. Follow your bliss. Build your life into whatever you want and don't settle. Give yourself something to look forward to that isn't just one person.
Navigating through your young adult years are scary and confusing ,and most of the time leave you feeling lost. But following your heart and passion will never lead you in the wrong direction. "Alone" isn't an synonym for unwanted, weak, or empty. Alone, you can be strong. Take pride in being alone, growing, and finding yourself.
