Being an extremely introverted person has its upsides, downsides, and misconceptions. This is especially true because not only am I an introvert, but I am also outgoing— meaning that although I’m outspoken and enjoy hanging out with my friends and participating in community activities, I also desperately need time to recharge at the end of the day: that time I enjoy when socializing is also extremely draining.
Because college is fundamentally a community experience— living, eating, and studying around others is unavoidable— I’ve experienced a decent amount of stress at being an introvert who must learn to exist amongst people 24/7. However, I’ve also experienced some surprising positive aspects of being an introvert in an extrovert-friendly space: in a lot of ways, being introverted is an advantage at college!
First, let’s talk about some negatives:
- I’m rarely truly alone. I wake up, and across the room, someone is sleeping; when I go to bed at night, someone is across from me as well. Although sometimes I have a room to myself, I am always conscious that it is a shared space. I am lucky enough to have a quiet, friendly roommate that I get along with very well, but having a roommate still necessitates that I be social more often than I normally would be.
- Noise. Lots and lots of noise. For many people, a big part of the college life is going to parties. I am not one of those people, but that doesn’t stop me from hearing people enter my dorm (somewhat loudly) at all hours of the night. Although this doesn’t directly require me to socialize with said people, it continually leaves me astonished that some people willingly stay up until early morning simply to party with large crowds of people.
- Living extremely close to friends. This isn’t necessarily a negative, but sometimes, I worry about hurting their feelings by saying “no” to hanging-out offers. I love my friends, but I need my alone time as well. I wish there was a socially acceptable way to say “Yes, I know we live near each other, and I love hanging out with you, but I need to be alone right now!”
And to end on a happy note, the positives:
- I’m content without being surrounded by a group. Sometimes, my friends will be in class or have other commitments when I want to get lunch— and that’s okay. I’m just as happy eating, working, or generally being alone as I am when others surround me. Sure, sometimes I miss my friends, and on the other hand, sometimes I prefer to be alone. But one of the greatest advantages to being introverted is a deep comfort with aloneness, without it turning into loneliness.
- It helps me get my work done. No, really! I gain so much mental energy from being alone, and what better way to use my alone-time than to study? The precious scarcity of easily accessible alone time is a great motivator for me to use that scarce time to get my work done. Plus, the most quiet and introvert-friendly place on campus is the library, which is also the most conducive to studying.
- I can break introvert stereotypes and help others learn what it really means to be introverted. This one is just as rewarding as being productive. Being introverted doesn’t mean being shy, meek, or a hermit. I’m none of those things, but I still gain energy from being alone and lose energy from socializing. Many people, especially in a world that more readily caters to extroverts, assume that introverts would prefer to be alone all the time, and don’t want any friends. That’s simply not true, and after meeting me, many people seem to understand that better.
It isn’t easy being an introvert in college, but being an introvert can sometimes make college a better experience for me. When living with others, whether you’re an introvert, ambivert, or extrovert, it is important to learn the power of a compromise; no person can be comfortable all the time. More important than the good versus bad aspects of being introverted in college are the lessons I’ve learned and will continue to learn while I’m here. I have already gotten better at sharing space, setting boundaries, and balancing my time between work and fun. Let’s hope that continues!
