Since high school I've had lots of people tell me that I'm an intimidating person, and I never really understood why.

I've had no less than eight people tell me that they thought I hated them when they first met me. Mind you all of these people were my friends. They would tell me that I just gave off this vibe that I didn't like them when we first met. I never hated any of these people. In fact, I liked them.

Every time someone would tell me this I was always surprised. I would always ask them why they thought I didn't like them. I don't think I ever got a straight answer to that question. Normally they would tell me they would just say they got this vibe from me or something along those lines.

I didn't know why they would say this. I didn't know what I was doing to turn people away from me or what sort of vibe I was putting out.

The summer before my freshman year of college I remember talking to my friend about boys. I was complaining about how I never got asked to a dance in high school. I said I just didn't understand why no boys liked me.

She told me that she didn't think that was the case. She said she thought the ones who did were just too intimidated by me to ever say anything. When she said that it reminded me of my mom saying something similar to me, that I intimidated boys.

Again, I just didn't get it. I wasn't trying to be intimidating. I wasn't trying to keep people away from me. I was just being myself.

At the time I thought maybe it had to do with my intelligence. Yes, I know that sounds braggy, but it's true. I was at the top of my class and frequently participated in class. I thought that maybe I intimidated them because I was good at school.

Now I'm not so sure that's the main reason why.

As I sat in my English class on the first day of the semester this past week, I think I finally understood why people found me intimidating.

I was sitting in my desk looking at my professor and paying attention to what he was talking about. There are only eight people in this class, so he would frequently make eye contact with each of us. Every time he would make eye contact with me I wouldn't break it. I would stare right back at him until he looked away.

And all of a sudden it hit me.

I was like crap this is why people think I'm intimidating. It's my stare. I could feel it. I could feel how intimidating my stare was. It was like I was appraising a person and didn't like what I found. And that wasn't the case at all! In fact, I really like this professor, but I understood why my high school friends told me they thought I hated them at first.

When I first meet people I'm pretty quiet thanks to my introverted personality. So instead of talking, I listen and "stare." Because of my hard stare and my ability to look someone in the eyes for so long I was intimidating these people without meaning to.

It's weird to be intimidating without meaning to. It definitely makes you feel misunderstood. It makes you feel alone as well because not a lot of people want to approach you because you seem so aloof or above it all when in actuality none of that is true.

Being an intimidating person means your first impression can be WAY different than who you actually are. Being an intimidating person means it takes a long time for people to get to know you. Being an intimidating person means you may scare off potential love interests.

But being an intimidating person can also mean that people take you seriously. Being an intimidating person can also mean that you don't have creepy weirdos asking you out. Being an intimidating person can also mean you only have true friends who get to know you for you.

So overall is it bad to be an intimidating person?

I think I'll leave it up to you to decide.