Girl-On-Girl Hate In The Greek System: Stopping Internalized Misogyny
Lifestyle

Girl-On-Girl Hate In The Greek System: Stopping Internalized Misogyny

1048
Girl-On-Girl Hate In The Greek System: Stopping Internalized Misogyny

There is something gravely wrong with the Greek system, but let's get back to that.

Most of us are familiar with the term sexism, which is defined by Merriam-Webster as "unfair treatment of people because of their sex; especially: unfair treatment of women." But, unfortunately, there is a more surreptitious type of sexism that not many people know about—something we call internalized misogyny.

According to Cultural Bridges to Justice, internalized misogyny is the "involuntary belief by girls and women that the lies, stereotypes, and myths about girls and women that are delivered to everyone in a sexist society are true."

But is internalized misogyny really our fault?

No, the act is completely involuntary because of the ever-present sexism in our society and culture. We are taught from a young age through socialization that women are inferior beings. So, we compete with one another instead of celebrating our sisters, because society tells us there can only be one smart, funny, and attractive girl in a bunch.

* * *

By no means am I the "perfect feminist," but I believe in girls. I believe in girls supporting girls. And, I once believed that sororities stood for just that, but, it took me accepting a bid into a chapter to learn (and witness) the harsh realities of the Panhellenic world; a world that preaches love and compassion to outsiders but is so heavily draped in internalized hate...

A former sister of mine, Melissa*, shared her own story about our chapter:

"Pam*, was recruiting a PNM (Potential New Member) during a "party" (an allotted amount of time split between different sororities where these PNMs come and meet the sisters of each house) and they were hitting it off—that is, until the PNM took notice of a girl, Josie*, sitting in the corner of the room, playing music for the party. Josie* was working what we call the 'backroom,' aka she runs the ins and outs of recruitment: music, lighting, etc. The PNM–clearly unaware of the roles sisters play during recruitment–asked Pam* if Josie* was also a sister. Pam* took one look over at Josie*, who was overweight and rocking a t-shirt, (which already separated her from the flock of black and gold dresses everyone else was wearing for the party) and responded with, 'No. We just hired her for recruitment.'"

(Screenshots taken from GreekChat.com.)


Young women are paying thousands of dollars to enter into this social elitism only to be ridiculed—all in the name of "sisterhood."

Kristina*, a sister of Alpha Xi Delta, had her own story to share:

“I’ve been told that I’m supposed to play a big part in recruitment come fall semester because I’m one of the ‘prettier’ girls. And we have this anonymous jar in our house that we’re supposed to put “snaps” in [praises, compliments, strictly positive things], which get read aloud during Chapter [a weekly meeting for sisters] in front of everyone, and I had multiple “snaps” put in saying that I am not one of the prettier girls, and if anything, I was going to scare PNMs because I’m Hispanic.”

Sororities have become a breeding ground for insecurity and, as seen by Kristina's* case (as well as a plethora of others), even racism.

It is imperative that we change and we need to eliminate this girl-on-girl hate—inside and outside of the Greek system. Here are some ways we can get over girl hate:

– Stop with the generalized statements. Build other women up instead of tearing them down.

"Women are fake. Women are dramatic. Women are superficial."

Using blanket statements is detrimental because in doing so we are placing women on this otherworldly pedestal where we are divided into categories of pure/virtuous OR lewd/indecent beings. People can be fake. People can be dramatic. People can be superficial. By adding to these kinds of conversations, we are adding to the ever so present misogynistic culture of our society and pitting ourselves against one another as opposed to growing alongside each other. Instead, we should find a truly inclusive sisterhood in our shared struggles. Hasn't society already knocked us down enough? Why should we contribute to the already apparent misogyny of today?

– Respect other women's decisions and respect your own by changing your inner monologue.

There's no single "formula" for being a woman. Some of us are cisgender and some of us become women. Some of us embrace our body hair, some of us shave. Some of us have a little extra meat on our bones, some of us are thin. Some of us become mothers, some of us don't. If we stop focusing on the what other women are doing, we can subdue our urges to judge them.

How we judge others is ultimately how we judge ourselves. In order to stop judging other people, we need to stop judging ourselves. By changing our inner monologue, i.e. how we feel about ourselves, we can change the way we feel about other women, too.


*Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals. Chapters listed are from various institutions—not just the University of Central Florida. These chapter names have not been included to protect the privacy of individuals.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Swoon

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less

Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B just dropped the hottest summer single yet. It's called "WAP" and we're going to get into all the intoxicating lyrics.

This song empowers females and their sexuality. These women put the ridiculous music industry female beef to bed, and I mean tucked away in a coma.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

How To Write Down The Holy Grail Recipe Everyone Begs You To Make

Because everyone has a signature cocktail, cake, or pasta they bring to every potluck.

NBC

From back when I used to bring my mom's classic white chocolate chip cookies to preschool on my birthday to now stirring up my signature tequila cocktails at every friends' barbecue, I've always had a couple of standby recipes in my culinary rotation.

Keep Reading... Show less
Adulting

Meet My Cat: Cheshire, The Stray Turned House Cat Who Lives in Michigan

I never considered myself a cat person, but Chess immediately stole my heart.

Madelyn Darbonne

In 2016, a stray cat gave birth to a litter of three grey kittens on my aunt and uncle's property. I had never considered myself to be much of a cat person, but these furballs immediately stole my heart. I got to watch them grow up until they were old enough to leave their mother's side.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

How To Binge-Watch A TV Show —And Then Write A Review About It

Writing your favorite and least favorite things about a show could not be more fun.

Photo by Mollie Sivaram on Unsplash

Looking for a new show to binge? Stop scrolling through your options and listen.

Sometimes a good show doesn't come down to the genre or the actors involved, it comes down to the fact that it is simply a GOOD show. If any of these things sound appealing to you, you should definitely watch.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

11 Reasons Why Getting A Cat Is The Best Thing You Can Do For Your Mental Health

Cats may mess up your puzzles but they'll always love you unconditionally — as long as you have some catnip, that is.

Scout Guarino

Alright, everyone, it's time to stop spreading the rumor that all cats are mean, aloof, and hate everyone. Like dogs, each cat has its own personality and tendencies. Some like a lot of attention, some like less — each person has to find the right cat for them. As for me, my cats Bienfu and Reptar have seen me at my worst, but they've also helped pull me out of it. They're a constant in my life and they give me the strength to get through the day in spite of my depression, and there's even scientific evidence to support it!

Keep Reading... Show less

I've been bleaching my hair since I was in seventh grade. Yes, you read that correctly, seventh grade. That's nearly 10 years of maintaining a very light shade of blonde that too-often brings about dryness and brittle strands.

Keep Reading... Show less

Chances are if you're here, you're probably interested in writing an open letter. Yay! We're excited to have you.

Of course, not all open letters are created equal. In fact, there's a recipe to writing one for Odyssey that'll get featured on one of our many verticals. When it comes to Swoon specifically (for those new around here, that's our dating and relationships vertical), we receive dozens of open letters each month, many of which are all very similar.

Keep Reading... Show less

With a new phone comes great responsibility: Do not break it! And the best way to do that is with a case. However, picking a case can be a challenge. No need to fret, I am here to help break down some of the best cases for the new iPhone SE 2020. Honestly, I think it's going to be impossible to choose!

Keep Reading... Show less

To some who have been out of the dating world for a while, it can be hard to get back into the swing of things after being single for some time. So, I asked 26 people what they think is important to know before looking for love again, here's what they had to say.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments