There are things that you know you just don’t say to other people. Some people seem to have just a big mouth, loose lipped, or just feel that they have the freedom to say whatever they want to. That’s why I’m here today to tell you what you shouldn’t say to someone who identifies as asexual! Some people may not take offense to some of these, while some might. So, just don’t say them. For added fun, I’ll include my snarky remarks for each of these.
"So, you're like a plant?"
No. Just because I like plants, doesn’t mean I am one.
Actually, I am. If you just expand that LGBT some more, you’ll see that there are some letters that are forgotten or ignored. When expanded, it becomes LGBTQIA. I’m the A.
"You're just being a tease."
How can you be a tease when no one is interested in your teasing anyway?
"Don’t you just mean you’re celibate or abstinent?"
Both of those are choices. Sexuality is something you don’t really have a choice in. So, I’m kind of stuck with it.
"You have a lot of self-control."
We should all have a lot of self-control when seeing a cute puppy. Oh, that’s not what you’re talking about? Well, the meaning should still stand.
"But, what about kids?"
What about them? Oh, you mean, having kids? Yeah, not my cup of tea. Other people seem to be having no problem with it, so good on them.
"Sex is an innate need! Humans are sexual beings!"
Oh really, I hadn’t guessed. With the world population to be estimated at 7.5 billion individuals, it was really hard to figure out. I’m sure that number isn’t going to drop anytime soon, so if it really shouldn’t be a problem that I don’t partake.
"It’s just a phase!" or "You’ll grow out of it."
I’m sure there are people just waiting for me to “grow out of it.” But, I’ve spent a couple years trying to figure it out so, it’s not going to happen now that I have figured it out.
"I just want you to be happy."
Thanks for the sentiment, but I am happy. If you can’t see that, maybe some reevaluations are in order.
"But, you know what your partner will want right?"
Yeah, a fluffy and cuddly puppy. Who doesn’t want a fluffy and cuddly puppy?
"You’re suppressing a trauma."
"Have you been sexually abused?"
No. I don’t even think there has been a connection between sexual abuse and sexuality found. You might want to do some more research.
"You just haven’t had good sex yet!"
Well, as the ace community says: “Cake is better than sex.” But, I’m one of those people who prefer pie to cake.
"Maybe if you just lose some weight?"
What does that even have to do with someone’s sexuality? I don’t think that’s right.
"But, how can you have a relationship/love anyone without sex?"
It’s perfectly easy. It happens all the time, you just don’t realize it.
"Asexuality doesn’t exist."
Well, I’m here, writing this article. It’d be kind of hard to write this article if I didn’t exist. Also, yeah, by denouncing my sexuality (or lack thereof?) you are denouncing my existence. Remember that next time you behave in an ignorant way.
"You’re broken."
I think everything is still working. So, I don’t think you have the correct definition of “broken.”
"You’ll never be in a good relationship now!"
Actually, many ace individuals have successful relationships and marriages. Some even have children! It just takes a lot of communication (as that is KEY in any relationship). Personally, I am more of the take it as it comes type, but I hope for a successful relationship eventually.
"You’re just doing this for attention."
So, finding yourself and feeling comfortable in yourself is attention-seeking behavior? Okay, then.
"You’re missing out!"
On what? How can I know that I’m missing out when I don’t know what I’m missing out on? I’ll sit here with my fluffy and cuddly puppy and wait for you to finish your sentence. Oh, that’s what you mean? Well, I don’t really find that I care. I’ll pass.
Next time you think about saying any of these (obviously) ignorant and rude things to someone, regardless of their sexuality, why don’t you learn before you speak? Instead of being rude to an individual, ask them polite questions and learn as much as you can. They’ll be more than happy to answer your questions. If you start off with one of these, I can’t guarantee your safety. Probably best to back away slowly and offer them a fluffy and cuddly puppy.
