Approaching year two of my mostly long distance relationship, I have gained some perspective. Here is the truth about long distance (whatever that distance may be) in high school and/or college.
I have written and rewritten this exact post about four times now. Each time I have begun to write, my introduction is filled with negativity and I basically strangle all hopes of anyone considering going down this path. But as I sit here now, on my fifth and final try, my view has changed.
People ask if I would “recommend” long distance in college, and I can’t give a fair answer. In fact, I don't think anyone can because each relationship is so different. Each person is so different. All I can talk about is my personal experience. I can tell you the hardships and recite detailed anecdotes of nights I have cried myself to sleep from missing my other half. I could show you the hour-long FaceTime logs, the remains of letters and even the saved reciepts of our dates, mounted on my cork board that remind me of him.
I could explain the jealousy part, or the feeling uninformed part; the feeling uninvolved part. I could go on and on about how much the goodbyes suck and never seem to get any better, or how short the visits feel but how fun it is to count down the days until the next one. I'd probably mention how weird and almost surreal it feels to actually see him after two or even one month of just calls and FaceTimes.
I would definitely complain about the length of the drive and the distance between us. I'd say that I can’t possibly “recommend” that anyone take on what feels like the worst and hardest challenge I have ever encountered. Because this IS hard.
But I'd also say that I am proud and have never felt so determined in my life. I am determined to show everyone that told us that this wouldn’t and couldn’t work, that it can. I am determined to maintain a healthy, strong, loving and equal relationship with someone I care incredibly for. I am determined to save money to visit, send letters and to take four-hour car rides just to be with him for a weekend.
I am more than willing to forego “casual college hookups,” going to date parties or formals and having the “true college experience.” Because in reality, I don’t want that. I want this, and I want him.
It has made my relationship stronger than it was when we saw each other every day in high school. It gives me something to talk about, someone to care about, and something to be proud of. It gives us something to look forward to and something to work for. It hurts like hell, but to share and overcome such a challenge with someone is unlike any other feeling I know.
So, with that being said; I can’t possibly recommend it. I can only tell you how amazing it feels to say we do it, and know that we're pretty damn good at it too. That's the truth.
