As an international student, homesickness happens often. I've learned to be independent at a very young age. Sometimes I feel like I'm older than I actually am. People are often shocked to know that I'm only 17.

Over the three years I've spent studying in the United States, I have often felt lost. Don't get me wrong, I have really enjoyed my time and experiences, but there's always something off. I guess it's because I don't feel like I fully belong in one place. The constant moving and having no permanent address bugs me a lot-- especially since I'm surrounded among people who have had a simple upbringing in comparison to mine.

The idea of experiencing culture shock in your surroundings has totally taken a whole new level for me in college. I pretty much understand the lingo and terminology, but sometimes it can get out of hand. There are certain topics like voting and driving that I have little to zero knowledge about. I can't vote because I am underage, and the Philippines already had their presidential election. I've missed my chance on that one. I don't know how to drive or own a car while my classmates and friends do. I feel like I've been living in a cave and like I haven't caught up with what is "in." It's not anyone's fault really. It's just not being in a permanent place to be able to do all the "normal" things every teenager does.

I've never felt so lost in my life before, other than being lost in the mall when I was little...

Nevertheless, I hope for the day when I get to feel "normal" again. The day where I don't have to tell the whole backstory of where I am from. The day where I get to live and see my family every day and every night. The day where I don't have to explain where the Philippines is located. The day where I don't get judged for not knowing Filipino fluently. The day where I have the chance to reunite with my friends scattered all over the world. The day where I start living and defeating my own inner struggles.