This past Saturday, I (along with numerous high school seniors across the United States) took the SAT for the last time. After a couple years of prep, pencil sharpening, and pretending to fill in the right personal information section at the beginning of the test, I am happy to finally move on to better things (*cough* applications *cough*).
Yet my final test was bittersweet all the same. Here's why:
1. I just love showing my proctor my admission ticket every time I go to use the restroom, sharpen pencils, or step into the hall to breathe.
2. You start to fill in the personal information section.
3. And debate between all caps or normal writing. For two reasons.
4. One: several years ago some teacher told you to write in all caps for standardized testing so you keep doing it.
5. Two: Your handwriting sucks on Saturdays (or all the time).
6. You become a little obsessive when copying barcodes and serial numbers onto your answer sheet.
7. Like 'check at least three times' obsessive.
8. You've already scribbled outside the circle. Good job.
9. You try to erase. Your pencil mark smears. You wonder if your scores will get cancelled.
10. An entire scene plays in your head in which your scores are terminated because you scribbled outside the line. Your scores are never graded. You never can send them to colleges. Colleges never accept you. Life is at a stand-still...
11. Kind of like those DirecTV commercials!
12. What's the deal with the whole 'terminated' instruction anyway? SAT just trying to spice things up, I guess.
13. But it is fun to watch the proctor say terminated.
14. Reading section. Time to focus.
15. What tone did they use? I don't know, man. It's a piece of paper.
16. My eyes are starting to blur.
17. Crap. I forgot a watch. Time to estimate.
18. Or just haul it to make sure I finish in time.
19. Break number one! Yay! Time to eat all the snacks I brought in one sitting!
20. Back for language. Let's do this.
21. Affect v. Effect. Uh-oh.
22. How many times should NO CHANGE be the answer?
23. When in doubt, C it out.
24. Nevermind. This is my education we're talking about. There is no guessing.
25. Mathematics. AKA trying to remember every formula you've learned in high school.
26. Because in the midst of your SAT stupor (or stupidity), you're going to forget about the formula sheet at the beginning of the section.
27. I'm good. I don't need a calculator.
28. I'm not good. I need a calculator.
29. I did the write-in problem quickly! I must have gotten it right.
30. I did the write-in problem quickly! I must have rushed and did it incorrectly.
31. Break number two!
32. No more snacks.
33. This essay prompt is ridiculously easy.
34. Yet my brain says not so much.
35. MY HAND HURTS.
36. I'd rather scribble outside the circle and have a cancelled test than write this essay and get hand cramps.
37. (No, I wouldn't. I need this to get into school. At least that's what CollegeBoard likes to tell me.)
