I recently had a conversation with my boyfriend about living in separate houses during the reminder of our college years. It's not that I hate living with him or don't want to, but I still need my space and my time as much as he needs his. Being in a serious relationship at 20 can be really tough if you and your partner aren't good at communicating. There are a lot of stress triggers that come along with college, living on your own, making your own money, etc. Now, him and I have been dating on and off for the last three years so we are at the point of our relationship that we can be apart from each other for long amounts of time and be OK. I can't speak for new relationships. Being that we have been together for this long, I really do feel that it will be a lot less stressful on the both of us if we have two different homes throughout college. Think about it, you have two different friend groups, class schedules, work schedules, and bedtimes. I had a really tough time coming to this conclusion because I felt like we were breaking up, when in reality we are just being realistic. Getting used to being around someone every day almost all day to seeing them in smaller increments throughout the day will be challenging. I was thinking about how I'd like to work on being independent personally while still being in this relationship and a few things came to mind. My boyfriend and I went through high school together and now are continuing our education at the same college so I really didn't have time in my life where I didn't have someone to lean on. Even though I still have him to lean on now, I want to figuring some things out for myself just in case I am put in a position where I need to know certain life skills and have no one else around. I want to know how to change a flat tire, become financially stable, get around without a GPS, pay bills in my name, save for something important, put up shelves in my house, paint rooms, use big tools, you know - the good stuff. I want to be 100% capable of living on my own if something were to happen to my significant other. I want to make sure my cup is full before adding someone else's cup into my cupboard. Most people are able to do this prior to committing themselves to someone else, but I happened to find my love early on. We grew together, we figured things out together. Now, I'm doing it for me. Some may think that I'm being selfish, but I think I'm being smart. Honestly, I think everyone should work on these things and make sure they are able to fully support themselves without anyone else to help them. My boyfriend is also saying that he completely agrees with both of us working on being more independent because it will only benefit our relationship together. That's how it should be. You both should be building each other up instead of competing to get to the top. During these critical years of your life, being in college, you are told you are supposed to focus on yourself, don't get sucked into a relationship, "do you." I agree with this, but I also don't think you'll fry in hell if you are in a relationship and still want to accomplish those things. Learn new things, and become independent but allow yourself to still de-stress with your SO. If you get lucky, you'll find someone who supports your decisions no matter what and will be with you the entire way wanting to better themselves as well. Here is my advice to you women who want to become more independent while still being a rockstar in your relationship. Do your thang girl. Decorate your room however you want, drink way too much wine while you clean and sing as loud as you can. Become friends with your roommates, and go do weird things with them. Educate yourself on personal safety, and kick ass doing it. Rip open your bills in YOUR name, hate that you have to pay that much, but then send the money back with a big smile on your face knowing that you did this yourself. Call your boyfriend afterwards and explain to him all of the cool things you just did. Or go jump on his bed like I would. Work those crazy hours at work and celebrate your paycheck. Eat a tub of ice cream every night while watching movies in you jammies with your boyfriend. Get a flat tire on the side of the road (please don't actually!) and be able to fix it like a champ by yourself. Be proud of yourself, and enjoy your relationship knowing that you got this and you can do big girl things when you have to. It is possible, you're not crazy. You can be independent while being in a relationship. You can be very good at it. Do the things that you have always wanted to, and don't feel bad about it because you deserve it. He deserves those things too. Support him and his choices while he supports you.