Life happens in waves of stress and hardships. Sometimes, during one of these waves you may tend to rely on other people more than usual. It is OK to have friends for emotional and moral support. However, when you start asking your friends to do things for you such as: calling a bank on your behalf to avoid talking to someone on the phone, or telling your friend to go look up information for your research paper. Sometimes you might ask for things that are not as significant like bringing you a drink or carrying a bag.
The problem lies with your inability to navigate and settle your workload individually. You are denying yourself the opportunity to accomplish something, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem. Holding independence is something that everyone wants. No one wants to depend on someone for the rest of his or her life. How can someone be independent while depending on others to handle tasks for them?
Independence is a term that most college students understand well. To leave your home while taking care of yourself and keeping up with your academics takes a lot of independence. However, a big part of independence comes with responsibility. It is not enough to go away from home and study. It is more about recognizing what you have to do and getting it done.
To talk to people on the phone about a bank statement, or to go to an office to request an application or file are all duties that an independent and responsible individual does. The dependent and irresponsible ask other people to do it for them. This all relates back to accomplishing things. To rob yourself of the opportunity to accomplish small tasks can have devastating effects on your capabilities and your autonomy. A perfect example of how accomplishing a small task affects your day comes from Admiral Mc Raven, a Navy SEAL who gave a speech at the University of Texas commencement. In his speech he states:
“If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another. By the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter.”
Making your bed in the morning is the last item on someone’s mind when he or she wakes up. Yet, it sets the mood for the entire day. Accomplishing the small tasks leads you to accomplishing the greater ones. It all starts from the little details and works its way up.
Learn how to be truly independent and do things for yourself. Friends are great to rely on, but not to ultimately depend on.
