They tell us that writers notice everything. From the detail in the shirt you wore the first time we interacted to how you made us feel, good or bad. And we tend to write when inspiration sparks whether we want to or not. Writing draft after draft, crafting exactly what should be said. It becomes like a puzzle. Little paragraphs patched together to create a piece that could change the universe, or at least the perception of the readers. The most important words that need to be spoken always seem to be the hardest to show to the ones we love. Those are called the inconvenient truths. Afraid to hurt ones feelings, poke the bear, or just make matters worse. But in the end need to be said in hopes to heal. Inconvenient truths show up all the time when you notice everything, just waiting to be written. A few, far too personal, ended up leaving my head and onto this article.

Here is the thing nobody tells you when someone close passes away. It creates a crater in relationships. What once was strong and civil is now World War III. The battlefield is where memories I'd like to personally conserve turns to gun powder. Going home is harder, saying goodbye becomes easy, holiday's seem to diminish, and the world does not seem to revolve around me anymore. It is a shame really, but that is life though. Starting war does not do anything and just because the one person who could make this all go away is not on this earth anymore, does not justify what is going on. The inconvenient truth is change is a bitch and it's inevitable. We can spend time wishing an eternity of misery on siblings, or we can grieve and figure out what is best, feelings aside. A war is not what that loved one was hoping for when he left this earth and a war does not make a hole in the heart go away. It tears it even farther, leaving the younger generation to pick sides and walk on eggshells while learning to grieve at the same time.

Growing up also sucks. One minute the hardest decision we have to make is what candy bar we want from the candy store and the next minute dealing with things adults never told us we would deal with. Our lives turn into a web of complications and failures that often lead us in the right direction. That doesn't mean it feels good hitting each one. Relationships before become stagnant and eventually fade away. Childhood homes become landmarks in our mind as we think back to the "old days." Growing up just sucks. I am stuck in between not knowing what I am doing or who I really am, but figuring it out one step at a time. It is easy to fall into a rabbit hole of friends who are not there helping you grow, and not that good of people in general. But we need to deal with that in order to grow.