As the first day of my senior year is quickly approaching, I can’t help but feel excited about graduating. There’s a very real possibility that I’ll get to move to a new city, start over, and get out of this small town I’ve lived in all of my life. I’m so ready to start writing my next chapter, and I can’t help but feel jealous as I see all my older friends starting theirs. While they were all out dorm room shopping and going to orientations, I’ve been sitting in my room, dreading another year of high school. I want to leave, and be gone, and be free; I know a lot of other people feel the same way.
As much as I want to leave, I’m going to miss being within 5 minutes of my best friends. Spontaneous city trips, chick-fil-a runs, and nights spent on trampolines stargazing will all fade into this one blur of memories you'll call “high school”. There will be no more football games—no more proms, pep rallies, or central league championships. You’ll most likely never see 90% of the people you graduate with again, until suddenly you're 21 and sitting in a bar, whispering about how you’re convinced you maybe graduated with that guy over there, but even then, you still won’t be sure. You’ll forget faces, names, and even the reason you hated your Criminal Justice teacher so much. Someday, you’ll look back and see a movie reel of your best moments. Senior year is the last opportunity you'll have to create them.
If you think about it, life is pretty good right now. You probably don’t have to pay the water bill, go get the oil changed in your car, or make your own dentist appointments. Our lives are so simple in this moment. It’s easy to get caught up in the stress of college admissions, senioritis, and sports practices, but life now is so innocent compared to what we’re facing when we walk out of those doors for the last time. As we’re all planning for someday—some of us even freaking out over someday—we’re forgetting the easiness that comes with today. We’re forgetting that we’ll never be this young and careless again.
I really crave the idea of leaving home. As ready as I believe I am, I know that I’ll never be truly ready to leave the people, the memories, or even my favorite waiter at Applebee’s. I know that as life calls each of us forward, beyond here, it can be tempting to rush into it. I can feel myself rushing towards and hoping for and dreaming of the things I’ll do when I finally get to leave. I’m afraid that I’m wishing my last year of childhood away.
So, as a bittersweet reminder to myself, and the rest of the class of 2017: slow down. One day, we're going to miss this.
