One day while working I was talking to a customer about what I was doing with my life. I told him that I graduated college and what the future (hopefully) held for me. As I was nearing the the end of the conversation, the customer asked me if I was single, I said “yes” and he then decided to proceed with the question of what I did wrong in college to still be single in my twenties.
As I looked at him with the meanest expression I could muster up, I said “Excuse me?”
Why do men or women feel that other women or men have failed, because they are not married or in a serious relationship by the time they have graduated college? Maybe it’s a southern thing, but for me personally, it is rude.
Never and I mean never let someone tell you that your decisions to better yourself and think only of yourself were not worth it because you don’t have a “significant other” to show for it. Why do we have to choose one or the other? Why can’t someone have both? Why can’t you pick your career over family? Why do I have to be married and have two kids before I am 25 to be socially acceptable in the adult world?
People tell me all the time that I will feel differently when I find the person I want to marry, and while that might be true, I know me and I know that I am different. I know that I am too selfish to take on someone else’s heart. I am fully committed to myself right now and I feel that it is perfectly okay to be as selfish as I can be for as long as I need to be. Marriage is the most sacred vow you can make to someone else and God and I do not take that lightly. I will admit, and probably some other girls out there will admit too, that we are stubborn. I like what I like and I don’t like what I don’t like. I shouldn’t have to justify my decisions to anyone right now besides my mom and Jesus.
Now, you might be thinking, “Oh no, another bitter girl” or my favorite, “Who broke your heart?” Just to justify, I am a firm believer in true love. I do believe that there is someone out there for me who will eventually sweep me off my feet and make me wonder why I ever settled for anybody else, but not today. What I’m afraid of is viewing life through the lens of marriage as the gold medal to life. If that is your goal to life, do you boo. Everyone is different.
Maybe I don’t want to find my true love yet. Maybe I have plans that only involve me, myself, and I. I can travel, move across the country, and make stupid decisions, just because I can. I don’t want to consult with my boyfriend or husband about the decisions I am making for myself. I am tired of viewing marriage as something that God owes me. Marriage is a gift from God that I may or may not get to experience in my lifetime. I will be honest and say that I have never prayed to meet my future husband or prayed for my future husband, so why should I be mad or sad that I haven’t met that person yet? What I have prayed for is that I would get every opportunity to advance my career in a man dominated field, to empower women, and to be enough for myself, and God has answered that for me. I get to do what I love and study what I love everyday. My goals might be different from our culture or yours, but that doesn’t make me any more or less successful than the next person.
I have the rest of my life to find the guy who truly loves me and that will give love a whole new meaning for me. That day will come, just not today.
