It's Okay to Leave a Bad Situation

In A Shitty Situation? Leave It

You need to be able to take care of yourself and fix your own problems before doing anything else.


Ever since I moved down to Georgia, things have been a bit rough. I was unemployed for a couple months, with no car, no money, no way to get home if I did some of the free things in the city. I had too much time on my hands, and could not feel anything other than anger.

Then I started working. I thought that getting out and earning a paycheck would, at the very least, keep my mind off that I wasn't where I wanted to be. I figured that, for the time being, getting out of the apartment and making money would at the very least curb any negative emotions I was having.

Boy, was I wrong.

I was working from five in the morning to two in the afternoon. With my inconsistent days off and early schedule, I was too exhausted to do what I wanted to do. I would end up sleeping most of the time and then doing the things that needed to get done.

My caffeine dependence reared its ugly head again. I became more and more irritable. I used to watch certain YouTube videos to laugh at the reactions to stupid stuff. Now I watch them to build up rage because that is the only emotion I can feel. My relationship became tenuous, and there were moments when we would start fighting and she kept blaming herself, saying that she should have done a few things differently and she didn't want me working where I was. I knew that to save what we have, I needed to do something fast. I needed something to change.

It finally happened.

I found a new job and had a sample shift. I felt that I could easily work there. I felt happy for the first time in a while. I thought it was a good fit, and I was hired on Monday. I put in my two weeks notice at my current job, and a 500-ton boulder has been lifted off my back.

I have gone back to laughing at the reaction videos. My smiles are real for the first time in who knows how long. I have been more affectionate and less distant (I may still have communication issues, but baby steps).

I know I won't be the first person to get in a shitty situation. Hell, this won't even be the first shitty situation I get into. But I did realize something:

When it hits the fan, don't be afraid to leave.

Do you hate your job? Find a new one, and plan your exit strategy. Are you in a toxic relationship? Break it off, and I mean completely break it off: no contact or anything. Struggling with school for whatever reason? Take a semester off. Make some money, travel a bit, take up a hobby, do whatever. When you have things figured out, you can go back.

You can only take care of others when your house is in order. To do that, you need to be in the right mindset, and having elements in your life that prevent you from being in that mindset makes it impossible to live your best life.

You have to dig through shit to get to any diamonds.

Well, I think I have found them. I haven't hit the mother load just yet, but I am definitely going i the right direction.

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To The Toxic Relationship I Was Afraid To Let Go Of

To my younger self... I'm sorry.

As time goes on the question that echoes in my mind is: "why?" Why did I let someone who was so undeserving have my love, time, and affection?

We all like to think that we have what it takes to mend the damage someone carries, but the fact of the matter is we don't. Hurt people, hurt people – and it was only when I tried to heal a bruised heart mine became the one in trouble. When you're young, vulnerable and under someone's spell you don't realize that you shouldn't have to rip yourself apart to keep someone else whole. I was scared of losing someone I didn't really have and I thought it was better to have someone halfway than not at all.

The irony of it all is that I grew up in a healthy environment. I have two parents who love my sister, each other, and myself unconditionally. They practice the same values they preach, some of which being loyalty, forgiveness, and how important it is to love each other despite the flaws that consume us. Those values were engraved so deep in my heart and soul I couldn't recognize when enough was enough or when to pull back and that just because I displayed these traits didn't mean they would be reciprocated. It took me a while to figure out I had to draw the line of determination from desperation.

It was a bittersweet realization when I looked up from my treacherous journey only to see it led me to a dead end, but I have never felt so liberated.

There's no denying I came out of the storm a different person and most definitely with a different heart. There were so many important lessons learned, both good and bad but the one thing that's for certain is it took me getting lost to find myself. You don't fully understand what you deserve until you experience something you don't. I learned the importance of self-worth and how crucial it is to not beat yourself up over the "coulda, shoulda, woulda's." I learned that in order to love someone, you have to start with yourself.

I know I'm not the only one who experienced this and I know I'm not the only one who wanted to figure it out on my own terms, but what I do know is that no one deserves it. I'm in my twenties now and still unsure of the actual meaning of love, but I know with absolute certainty that what I felt then was not it. I have so much growing, learning, and experiencing to do – and I fully intend on taking only those who deserve to be with me on my journey. No more and no less.

Everyone's story is different but the one thing they have in common is that we get to decide whom we share our stories with and how they make us feel. You never know which page your story will end with, so make sure it would be one you would be happy with. I urge every single one of you to rid yourself of people who do more harm than good. Life isn't forever.

Cover Image Credit: Thought Catalog

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11 Ways To Know He's Actually Into You

If he wants to Netflix and Chill with you on the first date, he's not actually into you.


Let's be real with each other, dating in this century is garbage. We skip the mystery and jump straight into the relationship stuff without actually having it. That's trash.

Nowadays it's gotten harder to tell if a guy is actually into you or if he's just playing a game with your heart. Well, here is what I've learned so far to help me from falling for the players.

1. He takes you on an actual date.

2. After he takes you out he drives you back to your place, not his. He actually a gentleman, what a shocker.

3. Your goals and aspirations? Yes, he really cares about that.

4. He talks about you to his friends.

5. He does his research. If you're really interested in something he will go out of his way, without being asked, to learn about it just because he cares

6. He does thoughtful things just because he can

7. Rants about your day? He actually listens and cares, he's not just trying to make conversation.

8. He'll make up excuses to see you. Even if it's for the dumbest reason, he'll find the time because he just wants to see you.

9. He opens up to you.

10. No time for you? Forget that. No matter how busy of a life both of you may have, you'll both find a way to work around it.

11. He remembers details and stories that you tell him and will actually refer back to it on occasion.

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