In Response To "You'll Never Be Famous – And That's OK"

In Response To "You'll Never Be Famous – And That's OK"

How could I seek my dreams and see my world differently?
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A few weeks ago, I read a New York Times article with an intriguing title: “You’ll Never Be Famous — And That’s O.K.” The author, Emily Esfahani Smith argues that young people desire to become famous and do big things, yet most dreams will not be fulfilled. She says, “The most meaningful lives, I’ve learned, are often not the extraordinary ones. They’re the ordinary ones lived with dignity.”

Smith uses the example of George Eliot’s 700-page-novel, Middlemarch, which focuses on two ambitious characters who want to create epic lives, but those aspirations are eventually dashed away to make her point. In closing, Eliot writes of one of the characters: “But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.”

Ever since I was young, I wanted to make a lot of money and become famous while doing so. I initially wanted to become an actress, enamored by the glamour and the wealth it may bring. It wasn’t until we did some filming and I had to watch myself and listen to my own voice when those dreams faded away; I didn’t feel comfortable confronting myself on the screen. Even though I did drama productions and found myself comfortable enough to ask questions in assembly and make speeches, those dreams never rose from the concrete again.

On the other hand, I still dream of becoming an author: I started writing poetry in my later elementary school days and started a story, which would later become a novel that has yet to be published. In addition to some poetry publications in school literary magazines, I developed new ideas, still in the nascent stages in sheets of paper and notecards in my room, and wrote short stories for my creative writing class in high school. A persistent flame, it is also paralyzed because I wanted to write what I believed was my best work and would become famous, but if I started writing, I feared that I may be wrong.

So, when I read Smith’s article, I think about the people who live quiet lives and find happiness in myriads of forms—my family members, who work hard to push their children to a brighter future; my friends, who volunteer and research and work so hard on many crafts that I believe they would become famous one day; and other mentors whom I share conversations with. I’m inspired, enlightened, and driven to create more and give something more positive for such a crazy world we live in.

Overall, I liked Smith’s article for its message, but I would like to ask if she had any advice for those who still seek fame and recognition for what they do. My opinion would be that one must continue to refine one’s craft in the little corners of the night. I do not like fame without anything to show for it, but I don’t want to traverse through life as a troubadour for my age, without anybody to listen. Ultimately, I might have to go offline and look around at the people I may have impacted.

Cover Image Credit: flickr

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You May Have Worn The Prom Dress With Him, But I Get To Wear The Wedding Dress

You had him in high school, but I get him for the rest of my life.
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High school seems like the best time of your life when you are in it. You think that all of your friends will be with you until the end, and that you will end up with whoever you are dating your senior year. For very few, that might just be the case. For all others, that is far from true.

You thought that you would marry your boyfriend and you thought that everything would work out how you had always imagined. I don't blame you though. He's great. You wanted everything with him, but you were just not right for him.

I wish I could say that I am sorry it didn't work out for you, but I can't. I can't because he is mine now, and I get to cherish him forever. You didn't do that right, and you were not meant to be together. You will find someone too, but I am happy that you were not the one for him.

Sometimes I have issues with jealousy, and I hate that you got all of the high school stuff with him. You got to go to games and support him. It kills me that I couldn't be there for him because I know I would have actually been there wholeheartedly. I would have done it out of love, not as a popularity appearance.

I hate that you got to go to all of the school dances with him. He got to see you all dressed up and probably told you how great you looked. I'm sure you did look great. Prom dresses were always fun to pick out and so colorful. It was exciting to match colors with your date. I am sure you had fun choosing his matching tux to your dress.

I find myself getting jealous, but then I stop. I am getting to match his tux with our wedding colors. I got to go dress shopping in a sea of white, and he doesn't get to know one detail about that dress yet. He will get to see me walk down the aisle and then every day forever. I get to love him forever.

I try to not get jealous of all of the things you got with him because it is all in the past. You had your time, and now I get the wedding. You got to dress up in high school, but I get to dress up for my wedding with him. He may have put a corsage on your wrist, but he will be putting the wedding ring on my finger.

Cover Image Credit: Jessy Scott

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I Expected It To Have It All Together By 22 And I'm Still Far From That

What we expected and what reality actually is, are two completely different things...

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Oh our 20s, how we expected them to be so different. We expected to graduate college at 22, have a career by 23, be engaged by 24, married with a house by 25, kids by 26-28, vacationing with the family by 30, and retired by 60. We expected college to be parties and cute boys/girls. Instead, we got late nights of studying and crying after a job that barely pays for our car, food, dorm, and textbooks. We get no social life and if we do our grades suffer for it.

Our 20s were expected to be all fun but all we got were struggles and stress. I mean I don't know about you but I expected, to have it all together and I'm nearly 23 and far from it. I had all the scholarships and great grades, and I still don't have any type of degree.

Reality hits after 18. Most of us don't have the help of mom and dad anymore. We have to find our way and make a path for ourselves. Sometimes our dreams and goals have to be put on hold for that. The 20s isn't fun. It's about discovering who you are, who you want to be, and where you want to go. Some of us serve our country, some become incarcerated, some of us parents, some teachers, others cops, others travel or study abroad, some dead, some ill, other managers, others homeless, some still living home, and some even addicts.

The weird thing about your 20s is everyone is doing something different, but yet everyone is confused and comparing themselves to others. People feel if they're not doing what others are doing, in their age group then they have failed themselves. What people forget is that with life comes obstacles and sacrifice and everyone's life and situations are different. You are where you need to be right now, for you, and I think that's something to remember in your 20s.

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Another thing about your 20's is you're free to think for yourself now. No more having to follow a religion you dislike or hold back from things you love. The world is literally yours to discover and learn from. Possibilities are endless! I think your 20's are the years you create yourself to the best version of you and build the foundation for your future. Just remember, we all build at our own pace.

Signed,

The lost 22-year old that believes in you

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