Just as there must be a yin to every yang, and darkness for every light, we sometimes don’t recognize the need for our past to build upon the present.
The past can sometimes be difficult to reflect on. For some, coping with it is effortless, while others find it more difficult. From simple moments like checking your TimeHop to find your four-legged best friend in puppy form, to the opposite end of the spectrum; more complicated to think about: your superficial ex-boyfriend, your best friend who drifted or the image of your former self…the list is endless. But no matter how long the list, or how unpleasant each experience, understand that your past is a prerequisite for a more fitting, present version of yourself. You are both your past and your present. You are two halves that together, and only together, complete wholeness. You are your own yin and yang. You are your bad, your good and everything in-between.
Yes, you’ve made mistakes. You’ve made plenty of mistakes. You thought dying your hair with boxed hair dye from Walmart was acceptable in 8th grade. You thought picnicking the crap out of your pictures with five filters accompanied by, “Real eyes, realize, real lies” was perfectly fitting for that selfie of you and your BFF (Whatever, I’m guilty too.) You’ve made the mistake of forgetting to ask for guac on your burrito or waiting until 3 a.m. to start studying for that 8 a.m. midterm.
As we get older our mistakes tend to hold more weight, overlooking simple slip-ups like not coloring inside the lines. It may be that we pushed important people away. We said words we know we didn’t mean to our (ex) best friend. Maybe we missed valuable opportunities or took someone we loved for granted. But as studying for that 8 a.m. midterm. But as a lyrical genius, Hannah Montana once wrote, “Nobody’s perfect.” She’s right, everyone has those days and we make mistakes…Maybe swinging half-naked on a wrecking ball just isn’t your thing, who knows.
Of course, the past cannot be reversed, overlooked, edited nor erased, but no matter the severity of past experience, one word needs to be interlaced—forgiveness. We're told to leave the past in the past; however, our past requires acceptance due to its permanent nature. Obviously, the past is not a place in which anyone should reside, but to revisit sparingly might not be so bad. You owe it to yourself to let go of the guilt, anger or resentment that certain memories carry. Normally we’re instructed to forgive others, but how often do you take the time to forgive yourself?
Forgiving your past doesn’t mean you’re condoning or permitting what happened. It doesn’t require letting those who hurt you back into your life. To forgive doesn’t mean you’re forbidden to feel any emotion about what happened ever again. Forgiving shouldn’t be associated with forgetting. Forgiving cannot change prior events; but rather, enables us to accept the outcome. Forgiving yourself is like removing that broken record inside your head that replays wrongdoings. Newsflash: that record deserves to be thrown out along with the rest of that U2 album (that Apple decided to force-download onto your phone).
Every now and again we spend time with our “shady” Yin side. Many times, we're absorbed with our “lighter” Yang side. Usually, we’re immersed somewhere in-between 50 shades of gray, but in the end, all parts come together to represent a whole. You are no less of your “whole” or of yourself if you come across your “darker” side occasionally. Some unkind memories may reside there; but in times of darkness, remind yourself that the darkest moments are just before the dawn. Your darkness will fade to light, just as the sky fades into the early morning, each and every day. Just as doors may close, they eventually open again to other opportunities.
Accepting your lows is necessary to appreciate your highs. Your difficult times must be endured to discover your positive times. Your past and your present, your yin and your yang – are all a matter of balance. The symbol illustrates a circle, representing movement all the way around, with no end; meaning we travel around the shape certainly more than once. Throughout our lifetime, we will travel around the circle of ourselves countless times, and each time we do, we build upon our past, come to terms with our present, and ultimately strengthen our future.
