We’ve all been there; when the question of “What are we?” pops up, we instantly tense up. Why is it so hard to define the relationship? Men (and women alike) shudder at the utter mention of it – but why? Why is it so difficult for our generation to establish a mutual understanding regarding a potential relationship? Why has defining the relationship become synonymous with over zealous women trying to tie a man down? Newsflash: fellas, not every girl who questions your intentions wants to jump into a relationship.

Sometimes we just want to be friends or take it easy. Maybe we want to be friends with benefits and hook up with other people. Maybe we want to be exclusive but without the title! There’s nothing wrong with any of those options. But we don’t always meet someone and decide we want to be in a relationship with them right off the bat. That being said, what if we do want to be in a relationship? We aren’t crazy just because we want a relationship with you. We just want to be with you because we care about you and actually see the relationship going somewhere. Take it as a form of flattery. We could be with any other guy out there or spend our time hooking up with random people, but we want to be with you. We want to define something with you. How else are you going to find out if you’re trulyforming a relationship with someone if you’re not sure that you’re both on the same page?

It’s not hard to specify whether you are friends, friends with benefits, casually dating or in a committed relationship. You just need to actually say it out loud! It doesn’t hurt the other person to know what you two are, it hurts not knowing and wondering if they are wasting their time questioning what page everyone is on. You can easily define the relationship without being in a full-fledged Facebook official relationship. The greatest thing you can provide your partner with is understanding; an understanding of what you want from them, life and the future. Maybe you want to test the waters and go with the flow? That’s fine. Just make it clear. Maybe you’re uninterested in "titles" right now but enjoy their company. That’s great, too! Just make sure you’re openly discussing your intentions in any sort of relationship. It’ll save both parties so much trouble in the end.

Don’t put so much stress and worry on defining what you are. It’s not as scary as we are all making it out to be. Make #DefiningTheRelationship a positive step in your relationship with someone.

If you don’t ask, you’ll never know.