If you’re sitting in this weird awkward realm of starting to hookup with one of your friends, but you don’t know what exactly is happening, don’t worry, I promise you are not alone. You could teeter with this in a few different ways. Do you stick with friends with benefits? Do you just stay friends? Do you move into seeing what it could be? Whatever way you choose, I swear it won’t be as traumatic as you think...
Unless you hookup with on of your good friends who you caught feelings for, didn't say anything about it and walk into a party on the same week just to find him with some other girl. Even after you told him you keep getting hurt by these things happening to you, and he promises that he would never do that to you.
Anyway, coming from someone who finds herself in this type of situation way too often, I’ve learned that the worst way to go about it is avoiding the conversation at all costs. When you accidentally kiss someone you see all the time, it’s really easy to pretend it never happened. But, you’re always left with, what if it meant something… but what if it didn’t? This question lingers in the back of your mind and I can say with complete certainty, nothing will happen if you don’t ask. It eats away at you and if you're like me, you end up pushing away and potentially losing a friend.
I know it’s basically the kiss of death to stop and ask the“what are we doing” question. As daunting as it may seem, just do it. Don’t be afraid of hearing “I just think we should be friends” because if that’s how they feel, then that’s that. It’s okay, you’re probably better off at that point because why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you? Let me tell you, you’re a queen and you deserve to be treated like one. If friends is the better route, then no harm, no foul. You want to be with someone who treats you like that princess that you are and if they don’t want more than a friendship, it’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with you. Play it cool and move on.
However, if they do want something more, please for all that is good in this world, I beg you— just tell them. If you’re asking “what are we doing,” you’re basically implying that you’re the least bit curious. If they beat around the bush with it, try to get them to give their honest answer. If you want to try and see what happens, I promise it won’t be a big to-do. Ease into it and take it slow. If you’re wondering if you want something maybe more then friends, there’s never harm in trying.
I really don’t understand why our generation makes this whole big thing about dating. It’s really simple, if you’re interested in someone— don’t just leave it as a hookup. If you want to get to know someone, get to know them. It doesn’t have to be this big extravagant display of events. It could literally be just hanging out, grabbing food, and talking about life.
If it's with one of your friends, you probably do those things in the first place so just keep doing them more. If you're stuck in the awkward "are we friends or is there something there" phase, it's very simple. Communicate. In this day and age, it's literally so easy to text someone and ask how their day is going. If they cross your mind, trust me it will make their whole day if you tell them. It's never going to go anywhere if you chicken out and enter the world of unanswered questions.
If it doesn't work, then it doesn't work.
Please don’t make a game out of how many girls you can hook up with. Especially if you're friends and you’ve low key been trying to get with them since last semester. When they give in, it’s not the chance to treat them like trash. Do not prance around your fraternity asking potential new members how they will be gentlemen when you can’t be one yourself. Start practicing what you preach, if you’re so called ready to “settle into relationship.” It didn’t have to be with that friend, but don’t string them along either.
For the most part, what I'm trying to say is if you hookup with your friend, don't avoid each other. Clear your head and have the conversation. If you like them or could even see yourself liking them, then there's no harm in trying to see if there's more. If not, still tell them. Games aren't fun, they make people crazy. So what are you waiting for? Just talk to them.