Impulse decisions have become a great friend of mine this past year. They were always things that I wish I could have done without worrying that things would go horribly wrong. Not that I was a meticulous planner in any particular sense, but I had to have a general idea of what to do before jumping in headfirst. I have most definitely strayed from that way of thinking now.
I used to be filled with nervousness when missing a turn or an exit while driving, or realizing that the place that I had planned on going to was closed or didn’t meet the expectations I had. Living that way brought me an extreme amount of stress, especially as I got to know a new city. I realized that I was missing out on things that I would remember because I was too overwhelmed with minute details. The more I thought about it, the less I felt motivated to do something because I assumed it wouldn’t be worth all of the trouble. This mindset made me stick to familiars and constants: things that I knew wouldn’t throw an unexpected issue at me.
I had always wanted to be the person that was up for anything, and, most of the time, I painted myself as that person. However, I couldn’t bring myself to act completely on impulse like other people I knew.
This then became a goal of mine. Obviously some things require planning, but I wanted to experience moments in ways that I’ve never experienced them previously. I begun by taking walks at 9:00 p.m., because I didn't have to worry about missing a turn or exit and because there’s more than one way to get where I need to go. I said yes to more things and tried not to plan every hour of activities. Through this, I found beautiful spots where I could sit and enjoy the view. I’ve also made some of the most comforting and happy memories with incredible people.
I’ve truly learned a lot about who I am as a person and who I would like to surround myself with. Whether it’s watching awful Netflix original movies, discussing the importance of moments at Chipotle, or sitting in the forest at night while it’s drizzling, I can confidently say that I have found bits and pieces of myself that I never knew existed before.
These impulse decisions are also a big reason for the opportunities that I have gotten career-wise. If there is anything to gain from making these last minute choices, it’s that applying for things or putting yourself out there, even if you don’t think you’ll get the position or whatever it is that you’re reaching for, can work out extremely well. Even if it doesn’t, at least you’ve learned from it.
While all of these opportunities, memories and relationships that I have gained came to me at the end of the semester, I’m grateful beyond words for all of them. Impulse decisions don’t have to be the grand gestures that everyone assumes they are, they can be baby steps and small snippets of the day. It’s just worth it to know that they can end up meaning so much more to you than you realize at the time.
