Ever since I graduated High School, I swore that I would never go back to my small little town where everyone knew everyone and everything about you. I wanted nothing more than to get out of the place I was living in for the last 18 years of my life. I claimed I was sick of the High School drama and all that my little town had to bring with it. I cut almost all ties that I had with the place.
About a year out of High School, there were only a few things keeping me there. My family, some friends, an old boyfriend and my favorite pizza place. That’s about it. I had moved on. I never wanted to go back. I had a new life somewhere else. New friends, new places to eat, new places to hang out on the weekends. Once I realized I didn’t want those things back home anymore I cut absolutely all ties I had with the place that I called home. I didn’t talk to anyone I used to know, I never went back unless absolutely necessary or if my campus was closed for the holidays. I went on vacations during my breaks and took classes to avoid going back there. I didn’t need it anymore. I had a longing to move on to bigger and better things. The only reason I wanted to go home was because my family was there. If only I could pick them up and move them with me.
As I approach my last year in college, I realize that this little town means so much more to me than I had ever realized. It’s my home, the place where I grew up, and the place all my memories have happened. It the place I feel most comfortable, it’s the place I secretly wish I can go back to when I am stressing over what I am going to do once I graduate. It’s the place I dream of when I am sitting in the library at 3 a.m. stressing over finals. I crave the simplicity of the life I had there, the same routine I had every day, the consistency of my friendships, the hospitality of my parents.
You don’t get that in college. Yeah, it’s “the best years of your life” but those years that came before it got you here. Don’t ever forget that. It is still the place I want when I am sick and crave my mom’s attention and the occasional coloring book she would get me on her way home from works. It is still the place where I want to spend all of my time after school goofing around on the athletic field with my teammates I have had for my entire life. It is still the place I want to wake up on Saturday morning and meet all my friends at our favorite place for breakfast before driving to spend the entire day at the beach. It is still home.
Sometimes it’s easier to forget that this place was always there for you when you’re constantly looking forward. It’s strange how you want nothing more than to leave your little town when you graduate High School but want nothing more than to go back as you approach real life. I was always the first one to say that I never want to be someone who returns to the town that they grew up in to raise their family. But why wouldn’t I want to? That small town and everyone in it sure did a good job raising me.
