Goals Are a Girls Best Friend

Goals Are A Girl's Best Friend

Just call me a goal digger.

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We've all heard the saying, "Diamonds are a girl's best friend."

And don't get me wrong, I love shiny pieces of jewelry just as much as the next girl, trust me.

But, the older I get (and the harder college gets) I'm starting to realize how important it is to set goals for yourself. It may sound kind of silly that I'm just now realizing the importance of having goals in life, given that I'm going on 21 years old. But hear me out.

Obviously growing up people are constantly asking you about your goals. Maybe not in those exact words, but growing up we all hear, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" or "What are you doing after graduation?" or my personal favorite, "Where do you see yourself in five years?" And growing up we hear questions like that so often that by the time you're getting ready to graduate high school, you've trained yourself to give an almost robot-like response. I've noticed that my answers to those kinds of questions have become automatic and they never go off-script.

But what I also noticed, was that most of the time I was just saying those answers to satisfy whoever was asking, not because I believed them. To be honest, that realization scared me. I had to step back and ask myself if I had actually set any specific goals for myself. Yes, I had the ones that I'd told relatives and advisors and potential employers when they asked, but how real were they?

Then came the epiphany. I realized that what I had created were shallow goals. They were goals that I hadn't put much thought into. They were nice on the surface but had no depth to them. They were goals that I had convinced myself I wanted to achieve because of the number of times I'd repeated them but had no idea how to actually attain them, or if I even wanted to.

For example, people lately have been asking me what my plans are when I graduate with my bachelor's degree next Spring. And for months I've been answering "I'm going to law school," and the conversation usually stops there. It wasn't until someone asked me things like where, or why, that I realized I actually had no idea.

And so began the process of creating goals for myself that were thought-out, consistent, and answered every follow-up question they could possibly have.

As a revised version of my law school goal, after considering things for a while, I've figured out that I truly do want to go to law school. And after more soul searching, I realized it's because it's one of the most direct routes to helping people. At least, the most direct route that's realistic for me. And that's what I'm truly passionate about, helping people and using my voice for those who are constantly being talked over.

I see now more than ever in our society (and under our current administration) that there's a need for lawyers who want to help in the biggest way they can, to affect the most controversial issues right now.

After I reexamined this goal, I realized that there were probably a lot of other goals in my life that needed some TLC.

When we're asked about our goals, however the question may be phrased, nine times out of ten our answers are shallow. Not shallow in a vain or selfish way, but shallow as in they lack deeper thought and consideration. Or even worse, they have automatic, scripted, robotic explanations.

Take a look at the goals you've set for yourself and ask yourself all of the questions you can think of about the substance of them. Why do you have that goal? What exactly are you doing/going to do to achieve it? Why do you want to achieve it in the first place? Will you be satisfied once you've reached it?

If we keep letting ourselves and the generations after us set meaningless goals, that they only came up with to shut up their relatives, then we're going to end up with a world full of people who are unhappy with who they've become, the career path they started down, or the decisions they've made based on goals they never really wanted.

Encourage young people to set goals that are personal. That mean something to them. The only way to clean up the messes made in our world on a daily basis is to have people in positions that they actually want to be in. To have people who are actually passionate about what they're doing.

Diamonds are great, but take the time to get to know your goals too. Make your goals your best friends, at least until you're satisfied with them.

Diamonds may look nice, but your goals can change the world.

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I'm A Christian Girl And I'm Not A Feminist, Because God Did Not Intend For Women To Be Equals

It is OK for me to not want to be equivalent with a man.

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To start off, I am not writing this to bash feminists or get hate messages. I am simply writing this to state why I do not perceive myself as a feminist.

March is International Women's Month and that is what has got me thinking about how I view myself as a young woman in the 21st century. I enjoy every day getting to soak up the world as a young lady, particularly in the South.

If you know me, then you know that I love and utterly adore Jesus. He is so perfect. He is everything. He is my whole life. Some people might say that I am a "Bible-thumper" or someone who has had too much Kool-aid and maybe I am, but I know who my Creator is and that He died for me, and that is all that matters.

In my young age, I loved to just sit in church with my parents and absorb all that God would deliver. As I have grown up, I have ventured off and joined a church that is different than my parents, so the responsibility falls more on me, but I love that. Since this era of independence began, I have thoroughly enjoyed taking ownership of my faith.

I spend a lot of time chatting with God, worshipping Him in all kinds of ways, and just diving deeper into His Word. Through all of this growth as a Christian, I have learned a lot, but something I have learned is a concept that some may not agree with, which does not surprise me.

I do not believe God meant for women and men to be equal.

There, I acknowledged the elephant in the room.

It is a shocker, I know, but I have some Biblical evidence to back up this belief that I have.

Let us begin in Genesis. God created man and then he created woman. This was two separate occurrences and order is key. He created Adam and then Eve.

Jesus treated women with grace and kindness, do not get me wrong. I mean just look at how He treated the woman at the well, the one who used all of her expensive perfume to cleanse His feet and not to mention His own biological mother! He has a truly unique place in his heart for women, but He also has special intentions for us in the world and in the family setting.

We are to submit to our husbands.

We are to be energetic, strong, and a hard worker.

We are to be busy and helpful to those in need.

We are to be fearless.

All of this is explicitly laid out by God in Proverbs 31.

We are not to be equal to our male counterparts. Jesus does not lay out the Proverbs 31 man, but He rather lays out the Proverbs 31 woman.

A husband or man is to be the head of the household as Christ is to the church.

A man is to love a woman so deeply that represents how he loves himself.

A man is to leave his father and mother.

Women and men are not equal in God's eyes, but they each represent Him in their own ways that the other needs.

If we were all equal, we would not need one another and therefore we would not need God. I am so thankful that we were not created equal. I am so thankful that God is so great that He could not just create only man or woman to represent His image. He is so perfect.

So, you see I am not a feminist, and it is OK.

It is acceptable for me to have this belief that God intended for men to lead women. It is also okay for people to have differing opinions. Writing this was not easy, but I know that not all people agree.

To feminists and those that are not, you are allowed to believe whatever you wish but have evidence to back it up.

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The Ins And Outs Of Imposter Syndrome And How It Affects Women Of Color

We're taught by older generations that we always have to work twice as hard to get half as far as white peers.

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First things first I want to tell you what Imposter Syndrome is not. I know there are plenty of articles that discuss self-confidence through body image but I can guarantee you that's not what I'm talking about here. That could be another article for another day, perhaps. It's also not just a feeling of "oh, dang, I could've done that better" or "I wish I'd done that differently." It must also be noted that this is less of an actual disorder and more of a condition if you will.

What Imposter Syndrome actually is is feeling like nothing you accomplish is actually worth anything and that everything you've achieved is because of luck, not because of the work you put into it. It's always feeling like you're going to be exposed or found out for not actually being as intelligent or successful as you seem or as you say you are.

But how does this manifest in everyday life you ask? Well, of course, I am here to provide some examples.

Whenever I have a project due in one of my journalism classes, I make sure to listen to the instructions when it's being introduced. I always go back and read over the syllabus when completing my projects. I take the tips and tricks into account. I follow all of the guidelines I was given and I always try to put my best foot forward. Yet, I still always feel like I'm doing everything incorrectly or that I'm forgetting something. I feel like no matter what my professor is going to hate it and I'm going to get a bad grade.

Or it can manifest as whenever I try to apply for a job I have a hard time describing my skills or past work experience because I feel like I haven't really done anything relevant. I also don't really feel like I have many skills if any. I always remember that someone is going to have more experience or a better portfolio or a better resume. Whenever I remember that it can leave me feeling inadequate and like I don't belong. Like everyone else is a hireable employee and like I'm a poser.

I think this has a lot to do with the fact that, as a woman, you're socialized to put other people's needs and wants before your own whether that be celebrating other people's accomplishments or helping other people bounce back from failure. But you never really gain the skills to be that same support for yourself, at least not without years of work and undoing the internalized misogyny you've faced. Also because we've been socialized this way it can leave you feeling like you don't deserve anything good because the people around you haven't gotten there's yet. And that can be extremely difficult to break through.

As for people of color, because we're taught by older generations that we always have to work twice as hard to get half as far as white peers, we're always so used to exerting so much energy. But the moment you actually get recognized for your hard work can be jarring because you might feel like you weren't working as hard you could be and don't deserve it. Or that you got lucky this time but soon everyone is gonna find out the truth and you're gonna be exposed as a fraud or an underachiever.

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