Every single person on earth has a personality unique to themselves. We all have certain characteristics, physical or otherwise, that make us who we are. Your best friend may wash her feet before getting into bed or your boyfriend may hide in his shirt when uncomfortable. All of these things make us human; make us special. There is no one else in the world that is exactly like you. No one has the same thoughts or feelings because we all experience emotions differently. Despite all of this, there may be times when we are swept up in the personality of another person.
When you encounter someone with a personality that is overpowering, it is easy to begin to lose yourself in them. Your self-identity starts to be consumed and left behind in order to make room for a new person. It happens to everyone at least once in their lifetime, be it in the form of a significant other to a friend. Sometimes you are just at a point in your life where nothing makes sense and you have no purpose. Then someone comes along and it seems like they have it all together, so you latch on to their every word, hoping that a bit of their life wisdom will rub off on you. Eventually, you stop having your own thoughts and devote all of your attention to this one person. You lose sight of who you are. When this happens, it can take a long time to redefine who you are and what you want from your life.
This is what I learned from losing myself in someone else:
You are allowed to speak up and defend yourself. If you think what your friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc. is saying is harmful or goes against your morals, then you have to say something. The less you defend your opinions, the less of them you will have. The more time that you let pass before calling them out, the less you will remember why you had that opinion in the first place.
You can cut people out of your life. You are not obligated to keep people in your life that are toxic to your environment. Pro tip: if this person or people constantly berate your appearance, morals, religion, politics, etc. in a malicious way that chips away at your self-worth, it is time to cut them loose. You don’t need negativity in your life; focus on the positives. You will be so much healthier as a result.
Last and most importantly is that you need to make time for yourself. You cannot revolve your entire life around someone else’s needs. There is nothing selfish about wanting to spend a day alone to recharge. Getting caught up in someone else’s mentality and way of life that does not reflect your own is exhausting. Spending every day as someone you are not is lying. You need to be true to yourself and rediscover who you really are.
