Imagine this, you’re 16-years-old and you’re waking up and preparing yourself for tryouts for your upcoming sports team. You’re running, doing sprints, strength workouts, and anything else you can imagine your coach will judge your performance off of. You have been training hard all summer and you’ve never been in better shape in your entire life. You’re running and hitting all your shots with ease. You have more confidence than you ever had going into previous years of tryouts. After working out, you go to your long day of work and finish up, no problem. You feel fine. You could even go out after if you really wanted to. Hell, you even decided you wanted to go out for the night like usual.

Imagine you go on a day trip with your family and you’re at your favorite place in the world and you’ve been waiting all year to go. You have a great day and you feel confident and happy. Nothing can ruin your spirit at the moment. You’re feeling better than you have in years. Things are starting to pick up. You go to eat a nice restaurant and get some ice cream afterwards. What’s a get away day without ice cream? You go home and something falls on your stomach.

You get sick of course, because a full stomach and pressure on your stomach don’t go well together. It doesn’t seem like a huge deal; just a bit of an upset stomach..

Imagine this, it’s been a week and you still cannot seem to keep your food in your stomach. You can’t even keep water in your stomach. At this point you’re so tired and weak. It hurts to walk around and you keep collapsing. No one can even touch your stomach without you shouting in pain, and everyone looks at you like your crazy. It can’t be that bad..just eat. You’re making this worse for yourself.

Imagine that three weeks have gone by and you still can’t eat or drink without pain. Doctors keep sending you home and telling you that nothing is wrong with you. People are looking at you with disgust. “Friends” are talking amongst themselves and telling others that they think you’re faking it for attention and that no one can be that sick for that long with no reason. You must be lying. Why do you need so much attention anyway?

Imagine this, you’re now 30 pounds down in less than a month. You’re dehydrated and malnourished. You’re so unhealthy that you’re now in the hospital, and attached to and IV and a heart monitor that goes off every time you stand or really move at all. You’re in and out of tests to try and figure what’s going on. Why can’t you eat or drink? Why do so many people think you’re lying? You’re so hungry but you just can not eat without pain. At this point they are force feeding and using the threat of a feeding tube if you can’t keep food down.

Imagine trying to explain to a doctor how hungry you are but they still think you’re lying. They say that you have an eating disorder and that this is psychological. You argue and argue that it isn’t because you are so so hungry. Eventually you grow tired of fighting it all and just say whatever. They force feed you and restrict water. It hurts. It really hurts, but you can’t go back to the port you’ve been training so hard for if you don’t gain any weight back. You fight the pain and eventually get out. They make you follow up for an eating disorder that you know you don’t have, but it’s the only way out.

Imagine after a year and a half they finally tell you that you were right and that you didn’t have an eating disorder. Your stomach shut down because you had an usual disorder. The doctors didn’t even think of it until now. You get excited because you finally have a diagnosis. You can finally get better! You feel your heart sink when you learn what the term “chronic illness” is and when you find out the rest of the news about what this whole thing is. You cry knowing that nothing is changing and you’re just...stuck.

Imagine going from an athletic and healthy 16-year-old girl one day, and then waking up and having your health taken away from you. One day you’re laughing and running around. The next day, you’re being sent home three times a week from school and the school suggesting home school because you’re too sick. Imagine people talking about you, saying that you’re doing it for attention when you’re in the scariest place you’ve ever been. You’re alone, you’re sick and you feel hopeless. Some days you can’t stand up and some days you can't see.

Imagine one day, your ANS just decides to stop working and your life is changed forever in so many aspects.

Imagine being severely sick and everyone saying you’re doing it to get attention.

Imagine it taking sometimes years to get a diagnosis and for someone to take you seriously.

Imagine being healthy one day, and then the next day it’s taken away for good.