I fall into a category full of people who are thought to be insane. We’re fueled by coffee, late nights, hardly any sleep, mental breakdowns, and a lot of crumpled up paper. That’s right, I’m a writer.
I've written and rewritten this article over and over. Reread, edit, delete, rewrite, repeat. That alone should tell you what it's like to be a writer. You pour your heart and soul out onto this paper only to read it and decide that it's terrible so you throw it away. You're your own biggest critic. You're terrified to ever let anyone read what you write because you feel like it isn't good enough. That was my biggest fear when I got the opportunity to write for The Odyssey. Writing is my absolute life, and much like life, writing is full of risks. There will be times when you have to step out of your comfort zone, push your boundaries, and put everything out on the line once those words are on that white, blank page.
Writing has always been my escape. I've never been one to successfully be able to verbally express how I feel. I've always just held it in until I couldn't hold it anymore and I finally broke. Even then, when I had hit rock bottom, I still didn't want to talk to anyone. But I knew that I had to find some way to say how I was feeling without actually saying it before things got worse than they already were. So, I started writing.
You see, when I'm writing, I feel like I can be whoever I want to be. I can say whatever I want to say without judgment. I'm completely free.
All my life I've wanted to be an author. I want to entertain people, to make them smile. I want people to read my words--my thoughts--and know that they're not alone. I want people to relate to the characters as if it's them. I want to make people realize that there's still hope. Hope for love, hope for peace, hope to live their life the way they want to live, hope for happiness. Everyone has that one book, that one poem, that one song that they feel like is written just for them. I want to make people feel. I want to make a difference.
Even if my name never gets as big as John Green or J.K. Rowling, I want to feel like I've helped someone in the way that my favorite authors have helped me. And when the day comes when someone comes up to me and says, "Hey, I read your book and want you to know that I loved it and you helped me in some way," then I'll know that I did something right in this life. All the late, coffee filled, sleepless nights with a blank notebook mocking me will all be worth it. This is why I do what I do. This is why I'm a writer and why I always will be.
